Tuesday, August 07, 2007

This one's for Jack and Shirley

Young lovers who so boldly deface innocent logs as a worldly declaration of their mutual affections.
-- Spanish Banks Extension, August 2007

Do you ever wonder what your dogs are thinking? I do. And because I own them, and I own the camera, and I own this blog, I can assign them any thoughts I like. It makes me feel powerful.

For example ... Red Dog is thinking:

"Yay! I'm dry!"

Now he's thinking:

"Boo. I'm undry."
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Tweed's train of thought goes something like this:

"Ball! Hi! The ball? Hi hi hi! Ball? Can I have the ball? Hello-hi - ball?"

And then:

"Go. Go. Gogogo. Move. Go ball. Go."

And then:

"Mum. Ball no go. Make ball go?"

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Mad Teeth (tm) always sound pretty well exactly the same:

"Get off me."

"Seriously. Get off!"

"I'm not f*cking around Woo, GET OFF!"

"GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF!"

"Oh crap, now there's two of them?"
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No thought at all:
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Of course, I also own kittenz, and I think they have just one thought:

"__(insert item here) __ must die."

Examples:


Angry Donut: "Human holding me in the air for photo op must die."

Round Eye: "Ditto. Totally has to die."

Angry Donut: "Fuzz ball on string ... must die."

"Must die! Must die!"

Round Eye: "I'm with you, kid. It's gotta die."

"And human. Human totally must die."
Angry Donut: "Die human. Die!"

Two kittens agree: "Whatever it is, it must die."

I'm afraid to go to sleep at night.

So is Woo:

Woo? Woohoo!
Oops. I forgot one:

Round Eye says "Take a photo of me doing this, and you must die."

6 comments:

sluj said...

I'm impressed at Piper's eloquence, as compared to the other woofs! Are both kittenz staying for goodz?

The Border Collies said...

Well, Piper is a girl. That automatically makes her smarter than the other dogs!

I ... don't ... know ... I can't seem to part with any kitten. GAH!

Pippin, the Gentle Pup said...

Great stuff with those kitz. It has a kind of snowclone feel to it all.

The Border Collies said...

Snowclone?

Snowclone
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


A snowclone is a type of formula-based cliché which uses an old idiom in a new context. It was originally defined as "a multi-use, customizable, instantly recognizable, time-worn, quoted or misquoted phrase or sentence that can be used in an entirely open array of different jokey variants by lazy journalists and writers."[1]

The term emphasizes the use of a familiar (and often particular) formula and previous cultural knowledge of the reader to express information about an idea. The idea being discussed is usually contextually different in meaning from the original use of that formula but can be understood using the same trope as the original formulation.

A common example of a snowclone is "X is the new Y", a generic form of the original expression "pink is the new black". In order to apply the snowclone, X and Y should be replaced with new words or phrases. For instance, this snowclone might appear as "Random is the new order", a marketing phrase for the iPod shuffle. See the list of snowclones for further examples.

Riva said...

one slight correction to your post...

you do NOT own kittenz...kittenz own YOU!!!

duh!!!!

mizwillowswitch said...

Angry Donut is the new Mr Woo.

Three Woofs and a Woo is the new SmoFo.

Jazz hands are the new devil horns.

I think I'm gettin the hang of this snowclone thing!