Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Object of Woo's Affections

You win a thousand Woo Bucks if you can guess what this is

Remember this?
It is the object of Woo's affections

I know he loves it. He's goes all cuckoo when I pull it out of the van (which is where it lives, so as to have peace in the house). Don't believe him when he makes this face when you ask him if he loves his "Fifa." It's just an act. "Fifa" is a worthy opponent, and Woo needs to pysch "Fifa" out.

(Note: also important in the "Fifa" VS Woo wars is deafening barkscreaming. You cannot see this in photos, but if you were in the general Kits area today, you probably heard it)

"Fifa" is very bad, and must be punished. In order to do this successfully, one must first fix an expression on their face reminiscent of a serial killer. Try to appear as psychotic as possible, because after all, the world is watching (Via the Food Woman's camera/blog).

Attack, while yelling like a crazy person ... er, dog. Barkscreaming - not just for landmasses anymore!

Then, dunk. Water will get up your nose, but it's worth it. You are Woo the Punisher. You must win this fight.

Once "Fifa" has been thoroughly drowned, take a quick break to chase Piper, who is minding her own business / is gleefully happy to be able to play ball without a Woonatic on her ear.

Pout when you get told off for Piper-Raiding. (Planed ears are vital to a successful pout.)

Return to water, regroup, plan new strategy. "Fifa" is floating merrily in the water. It appears the drowning was not thorough enough. This means war.

Be evil. Bring "Fifa" to shore, while glaring dramatically at the camera. Cue music that suggests more action to come.

Continue attack, but look sexy/flirty for the camera at the same time ... otherwise, what's it all for??

Punish "Fifa" some more, by rolling it in gritty sand. This is painful, and "Fifa" will eventually roll to a dejected stop.
To the victor belong the spoils. Pose like a foxy fox face.

And this is the face (+ noise) I get directed at me when Woo feels it's time for "Fifa" to get a good kickin' again:

And this is the face I get from Tweed when I am busy kickin' "Fifa" and not throwing his beloved ball ...

Annnnd this is the pose I get when I lure Tweed atop a big cement structure with promises of cookies he knows I do not have.

Lastly, some random leaping-into-water photos, because they amuse me. I am working up the nerve to one day go out and stand in the water with my camera while Adrian (who, by the way, is still for sale) throws the ball so I can get head on leaping photos, but I've not yet convinced myself the shot is worth it. All that water ... my camera ... alive things in the ocean I cannot see/might step on. I dunno if I can do it.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Inside Out

There is nothing cryptic about this title. First I am going to share some indoor photos, and then some outdoor ones.

It's a long one.


Remember Tweed's Worried-Camera-Face? Here is it in all its pathetic glory, confidently being usurped by Miss I'm-Such-A-Keener-Face behind him:

And here it is again, being unceremoniously shoved out of the way by Mister The-Camera-Loves-Me Face:

This photo needs no explanation, but because I like to type it ....

This Is A Dog With A Tennis Ball On His Nose

And this is a dog who was released from the tennis-ball-on-his-nose stay and is, once again, a happy dog

Piper did not want a tennis ball on her nose. But she thought she did, because she is greedy and wants what everyone else is having. So she begged for it.

But she was quite happy to pose with the tennis ball in her mouth, after numerous unsuccessful and highly dangerous (for me) attempts to put the tennis ball on her nose.
Piper likes to put things in her mouth. I had to take away the chewed up ball though, because she also likes to sometimes swallow the things she has in her mouth. Last year, this cost me a great deal of money and almost my Piper as well. The "end" result was a pink pompom, a blue rubber bone, a bottle cap and several unidentifiable pieces of plastic which she eventually passed. Yikes!

Okay, so have you seen the funny cats with funny sayings site, that depicts ... well, funny cats with some nerdy gamers making funny captions for the pictures? I admit it, they make me laugh and laugh and laugh and I can look at them for hours.

Tweed finds them funny too, and wanted one of his own.

"I'm in your lens, stealin' your perspectives"


The other day my friend Barb took me to some pit, or spit, or poke or something with a definitively Surrey-like name to play in some suspiciously greenish water that had turtles in it. I was skeptical. I have seen turtles before and they never seem to live in really clean water. However, the dogs were happy as pigs in ... er, spit.

This is evidenced by the joyous rollings that occurred

Woo explores some other worlds

Barb's dog Buck is a handsome fellow with extremely selective hearing. There are certain commands that do not exist in Buckland, like "Come," "Get over here," and "Buck! BUUUUUUCK! Hey Buck!" So it was hard to get photos of Buck, because he spent most of his time sniffing in the woods and pretending not to associate with the rest of us.

"STFU!!! Can't you see I'm ignoring you, asshole?"

"What's that? 'Come here' you say? You'll have to catch me first!"

"Okay, fine, I pose for thee. Happy now?"

Then today, after a lunch meeting I had (and after spending money I don't have on a new duvet cover because someone (Mr. Woo) who shall remain nameless (Mr. Woo) pissed on my damn bed yesterday! (Mr. Woo!!!!!) (I cannot explain it. I blame the dirty turtle spit/poke water) I took the dogs to the dog beach. Red Dog is not able to walk much these days, so I'm trying to keep him going by swimming as much as possible.

This series is stuff you've seen before. I mean, you haven't actually seen these before because I just took them two hours ago, but it's just same-old same-old. Woo continues to be a bastard and Piper continues to flash Mad Teeth (tm).

First, prepare to launch at the target

Then do this. We aren't sure exactly what this is, but judging from the results, it's a highly effective manoeuvre

The result is, of course, a series of ever flashier Mad Teeth (tm)

Dancing Mad Teeth (tm)

"Seriously, piss off now" Mad Teeth (tm)
"If there wasn't a ball in my mouth I would literally kill you" Mad Teeth (tm)

And because I think no one should go through life without experiencing a photo series of disembodied floating dog heads, I offer you a photo series of disembodied floating dog heads.

One Mississippi ...

Two ...

Three's Company

And to complete today's entry, some more standard fare ...

Red Dog looking absolutely fabulous (if a little shaky on his pins)

And Tweird being ... himself

Sunday, May 20, 2007

My Dog Is A Super Model

Red Dog has charisma, no doubt about it. He is kind of a sleeper model; like at first people are all awed by Piper and her darting about, or they are enamored with the Wooster and his funny little ways, or they laugh at Tweed and his sillyisms. It takes a while for people to warm up to the reticent being that is my dignified Red Dog, but when they do, they love him forever, deeply. He is just that kind of dog. I think he is gorgeous, even if he is all gimpy and going grey and stuff now.

I posted this photo elsewhere recently and someone called it "making his little boy face" the kind kids make when they want something and want to make you believe they are good and are trying to charm you all at once. She asked what I offered RD to elicit this expression and I said "sheep sheep sheep of course." I guess it's a bit mean as RD isn't able to work sheep anymore these days and I shouldn't tease him with something he can't have.

My Dog Is A Super Model*

*or, you know, not

It's not always easy to get photos of funny little Piper; being as she is predominantly black and her eyes are a very dark brown, she tends to collapse into her own personal black hole in photographs. Also, every photo I seem to take of her (not including Mad Teeth (tm)) shows her with the same expression - mouth open, ears pointy -- not a lot of variety happening with Piper. Kind of how I have 30 photos of Lars in a crouch, one ear up, one ear down. Some dogs are just consistent. So I had to get a bit creative and engage her, which is hard to do with one hand while shooting with a pretty heavy camera, lens and flash in the other. I need Workers Comp for the pain in my wrist and shoulder!

A game of "Sneaky Tug" where she braces herself against a footstool for leverage.

And maybe a little lounging around too.

Tweed is difficult to photograph as well, since he is really worried about the camera. You would think the dog of a photographer would be accustomed to the thing pointing at him all the time, but he seems to think the camera is punishment for something bad he did. If he is not sitting in my lap interfering with my shots of him or anything else and getting nose smudges on my lens, he is sitting somewhere with pinned-back ears and big scared eyeballs. There is a reason people call him "Tweird." You have to jolly a different expression out of him by saying words he doesn't understand, and then you get the mildly concerned head tilt thing.

The typical Tweed expression

Elsewise, you get this: "The camera is stealing my soul."

Mr. Woo remains my favourite dog to shoot. His orangeness contrasts enough with his white to make him a bright shining star in an otherwise dark photograph, and he is fascinated with the camera, constantly posing at it. The blue eye/brown eye thing doesn't hurt either. It's almost like he knows he is super photogenic and does his darnedest to work it, baby.

"You need a shot?"

"How about a soulful/heartbreakingly adorable pose?"

"Did you get a good one? Did I do good?"

And some pairs-o-snouts photos.

Piper defends her tuggy toy against Woo Snout

Tweed and RD share a snout moment