Sunday, July 27, 2008


Randomness Part 1

Baby Gulls

There is a seagull's nest on the building of the roof next door. The babies are hatched and walking around now. They look like fuzzy little Cadbury Malt Easter Eggs (tm) roaming around on the roof. They never really leave the nest except to run to greet the parents who throw up food for them. It's cute and disgusting all at the same time.

Regrettably, I do not own fantastic enough glass to get good, clear, close up shots of the babies so these photos are kinda shitty. But it was the best I could do, unless someone wants to sponsor my purchase of a 400mm!

They are pretty darned cute though. Maybe I can convinced the landlord next door to let me get on the roof?


Randomness Part 2

Tweed, on a chair!


Randomness Part 3


The annual "Celebration of Light" is here again already. Blech. I won't repeat my litany of complaints (loud, crowded, noisy, messy, knife fights, "WOOHOO"ing to all hours of the morning, terrified dogs - oh wait, I listed them again! Oops) about the fireworks, I will just tell you that IMO, I am ashamed to admit, the US (Saturday night) kicked Canada's (Wednesday Night) Pyrotechnic Ass. Yeah, as far as fireworks go, America's were really cool.

I took photos on both nights, but as the prospect of editing them seems tedious to me, I decided not to bother. I don't have a tripod so the photos often do not come out really well, and fireworks photos are not really my "thing" ... I suspect they are boring to other people as well. So I will just offer the one composite I put together of the progress of a Fireball from last night's show:


Randomness Part 4

Sport spontaneously eats

Don't get *too* excited - Sport has sporadically over the last few weeks voluntarily consumed food, so this may mean nothing. However, it was pretty cool this morning to see him take his place in the food bowl line and eat an entire meal, un-coaxed by me, out his own bowl. He even wandered around and licked the other bowls when the dogs were done. He not only ate, but showed definite enthusiasm for eating.

He seems to like raw beef - but not raw hamburger - so yesterday I bought him several pounds of raw beef from Surrey Meats where I usually buy my turkey necks from.
Hopefully he doesn't go off raw beef or I'm stuck with oodles of the stuff.

"Oh hai ... Where's the beef??"

The next obstacle, assuming Sport keeps eating, will be to see if he gains weight and condition as well. Eating in and of itself is not quite good enough. Fingers crossed.


Randomness Part 5

Piper on a chair too!


Randomness Part 6

Critical Mass, July 2008

On Friday I hopped on Joelene and rode up to the Vancouver Art Gallery to participate in this month's edition of Critical Mass Vancouver. It was pretty fun. We rode all over the city; hipsters, doorknobs, families, freaks and even some spandex cowboys tagged long - there were maybe a thousand cyclists along for the ride.

I expect it was pretty usual:

lots of bicycles

Lots of really pissed off people in cars screaming obscenities at the cyclists (though my one experience with corking was positive, and the two cars I was corking were driven/stopped by friendly, supportive people). This is not a political blog, but this cyclist would like to remind motorists that Mass only happens ONCE a month. She also reminds motorists that when you are stuck in a traffic jam due to something vehicular, you do not

A) try to run over other motorists in your rush to go somewhere
B) get out of your car and threaten the lives of other motorists for being in your way or
C) get of our your vehicle and walk up and down the sidewalk telling people they are assholes while clapping your hands sarcastically (this means you CANADIAN POSTAL SERVICE WOMAN ON THE CAUSEWAY) ... so maybe don't do them at Critical Mass time.

But if you do in fact engage in these activities normally in traffic jams, the Food Lady is sorry to say that you are, sadly, a total douche.

One girl crashed her bike badly in Stanley Park (where was her helmet? Mine was on my head, where it ALWAYS is - even if I am going for a laid back Sunday cruise around the seawall, my helmet is strapped to my noggin! /end lecture)

And I learned the hard way that the Causeway through Stanley Park is not, as I had thought, a meandering flat land, but actually a constant, punishing incline... at least for me it was. IOW, Food Lady needs to do more climbing, as this is her very weak cycling area.

I would also like to thank the nice young man who invited me to come play something called "Bicycle Polo" on Thursdays for his generous invitation ... but I'm totally not doing that!!


Randomness Part 7

Sport stole Tweed's spot in the bedroom last night. Tweed was very put out.


Randomness Part 8

3WAAW gets another blog award, this one from MuppetDog

Here are the rules for the Brillante Weblog Premio 2008 Award:

1. The winner can put the logo on her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of the girls you've nominated.

The problem? The Food Lady does not read "at least 7" other blogs with any regularity. The Food Lady lists her favourite blogs on the right hand side of this site, and those are pretty well all she reads. The Food Lady is also lazy, and doesn't feel like going around nominating other blogs for awards - she has to go buy a new Fifa (tm) and take the dogs for a run.

So The Food Lady humbly suggests to the makers of these awards that the rules not be so stringent! A top 3 pay-it-forwards would be sufficient! For Heaven's Sakes!! (that one was for you, Fi!)


Randomness Part 9, an addition

Newer, better Fifa (tm) joins the 3WAAW household

Went back to the used sporting goods store today. There were some new, used Fifas (tm) and I picked out a real beauty:

The fellows at the store were nice enough to let some air out of it for me, and then let Woo come inside and test it, so we would be sure he would not try to drown himself for the second time this weekend.

Fifa the Fourth (tm) was a big hit.

And not just with Wootie. Piper likes it too.

Woo teaches Fifa(tm) a lesson it won't soon forget!

Tweed wants nothing to do with the scary soccer ball.


Friday, July 25, 2008

Well THAT Was Embarrassing ( a no photos entry)

Today Wootie gave me a lesson in Utter Humiliation.

Some back-story - I am a horribly decadent consumer, something I am trying to change, so when I set out to buy Wootie a new Fifa (tm) I wanted to get a used one ... why buy a brand new soccer ball for the dog? Recycling a Fifa (tm) seemed like a good, earth friendly, and cheaper idea. Only when I went to the Used Sporting Goods store, their soccer balls were $25.00 apiece. Ouch.

So today on the way to Spanish Banks Extension, I stopped at the Dollar Store and bought Mr. Woo a $7.00 soccer ball. The massive price difference justified my purchase choice.

It's been a long time since we had a Fifa (tm) so Woo was really excited. He barkscreamed (tm) all the way from the parking lot to the ocean. I gave the soccer ball a mighty boot and sent it into the water. Wootie promptly followed ....

... and swam away until he was a little dot in the sea.

I kept calling and calling him, but a) Wootie does not listen at the best of times and b) he wouldn't leave his new Fifa (tm) out there. The problem with the cheap-ass dollar store soccer ball is that it's made of rubber, not leather or whatever it is good soccer balls are made of. It's more like a basketball. It was all ridiculously inflated, like rock solid. So Woo had nothing to grab on the ball. And every time he tried to get the ball in his mouth, his jaw pressure would send it shooting away. Eventually, he'd been swimming for a good 15 straight minutes and I could barely see him.

I was starting to think I was going to have to strip down to my underwear and go get him. This is problematic because:
a) no one really needs to see me in my underpants
b)I can't really swim (I can do something my friends call "Food Lady Is Not Drowning" but I cannot actually swim) and
c) even if I could, I can't swim in water where I can't see the bottom. Call it a phobia if you want to.

The end result - I figured Woo was just going to have to drown.

So the lifeguard came to Woo's rescue. He got in his little rowboat and rowed allll the way out and picked up Fifa (tm) and then started following Woo - Woo thought he was being chased by a Mean Boat With Ill Intentions, so he swam back to shore as fast as he could.

Everyone.On.The.Beach.Was.Laughing. Out loud. A Lot.

I was totally embarrassed. But props where props are due, so thanks to the Lifeguard at Spanish Banks today who rescued my soccer ball.

*le sigh*

Oh and afterward the soccer ball died. On the way back to the car, Piper and her Mighty Mad Teeth (tm) popped the sucker and killed it. My $7.00 soccer ball last approximately 84 minutes from purchase to death. The joke is on me, I guess.

I threw it in the garbage at the park. Then I loaded some dogs in the car and when I turned to call Wootie, he was up on his hindlegs trying to open the garbage can lid and get his new beloved Fifa (tm) back. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen.

And I had no camera with me today!!

Tomorrow - we go drop $25 big ones in a decent Fifa 9tm).

Check back this weekend folks - I will have both photos of fireworks and Critical Mass to share with you all.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Where's The Beach?

It's drier than an Amish Meeting House out here in Vancouver, dear readers. The Weather Gods here never do anything half assed - rain? "By doG, if you want rain then it shall rain for 9 months of the year!"

But when the rain goes away, the sun comes out to play. Or more correctly, it comes out to suck up all the moisture in the whole city. It turns a little game of fetch into a proper Alberta-style dust up!

I'm not complaining! I love the heat and the sun. I'm not a cold weather kinda gal.

Tweed doesn't seem to mind it much either. In fact, he looks pretty darn happy to me!

Today, as a change of pace, we went to Spanish Banks Dog Beach instead of our usual haunts. Except I need to learn to read the tidal maps or something, because when we got there, the ocean had vanished.

It was miles away, being all coy and flirty. All it left behind were wide expanses of sand with piddly puddles of water here and there. Oh and the sand was covered with a mixture of what appeared to be cement, crazy glue and sticky rice water.

Sport, who does not go IN water, and generally takes offense to the pushy nature of the tide at Kits Beach, felt this was just peachy, thanks.
^^ Ole Dirty Legs.
As I was inappropriately shod for cement/rice water/glue surfaces, my sneakers now look like Sport's legs. Harumph.

The Three Amigos didn't care - ocean, oatmeal, mountain ... as long as there's a Chuck-It and a Wootie Toy to be manipulated, by doG they will fetch.

Sport, much like me with boys-on-bikes, really likes to watch.

After some hardcore fetching, Sport led the way back to the car.

After we stopped for a moment to rest ...

... and to shake off some mud ...

... and reflect on the day's outing.

On the way home, we stopped in at the vet so Sport could get a check up. He's not really improving; still has no appetite, is not gaining weight ... generally, I am underwhelmed with his progress, or lack thereof. So we stopped in to see Dr. Shaw and get his opinion.

Sport was not at all happy to be at the clinic.

"Why, Food Lady? Why would you do this to me?"

The staff at the clinic, as people do everywhere*, fell in love with Sport. Upon hearing that he refuses all food, they undertook a mission to try and feed him essentially everything remotely edible in the hospital.

* "people everywhere" does not include the owners of dogs that Sport bites at the beach.

This cat, who's name I forget, was in HEAVEN. Because everything Sport did not eat (which was, literally, everything), kitty did!

Dr. Shaw was not too impressed with Sporty either! Sport's complete lack of muscle mass is a very real concern, especially given how much food I have been forcing into his old, starving body. We discovered two abscessed teeth in his mouth, but his heart murmur is so severe and overall body condition so poor that nobody wants to put him under to remove them. The teeth could be causing him quite a bit of pain, as is his evident arthritis. And so Sport is caught in the mightiest of Catch-22s - he could get better if we could fix him, but he's too sick to be fixed. Poor guy.

Armed with an arsenal of antibiotics for his abscessed teeth, and Metacam for his poor old bones, we mutually agreed upon a deadline for Sport - two weeks. The antibiotics and pain killers should help him feel better long enough to regain appetite. Even if they don't, the sheer amount of food I cram into him every day should result in some significant improvement in his overall body condition and weight. If this does not happen over the next two weeks, Sporty will take that last long walk, and I'll hold him while he goes. It may be that Sport is just too sick to be well ever again.

So root for him, blog readers. Sport needs your good thoughts, juju and prayers. If you can't wish him better, then wish him an easy passing. He is a grand old dog and it's no fun to watch him suffer.

Look! Dogs masquerading as real sheepdogs!

And OMG, how cute is this face?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ladies Night

Please indulge me, blog readers. I promise not to go off topic often. But yesterday Piper and I went for a walk to watch the Tour de Gastown which is a relatively famous bicycle race that happens to raise money for cancer. It *also* happens to be full of boys on bicycles - two of my favourite things, but together!

Piper got to come with because she likes all people everywhere, unlike Tweed, and Wootie wanted to stay home and eat a lamb bone.

So it was just us gals, ogling some bike p0rN together.

We were not standing in a very good spot, as the event was packed and it was hard to get to the fence as it was. In fact, Piper had to charm her way into a spot - no one was moving for ME! So I did not take many photos. Also, drool is bad for the 20D.


Piper claimed that it was a really long walk for not much satisfaction - she likes neither bicycles nor the art of racing them. She got kind of interested when this guy fell down, because Piper believes that all people at Piper level are there for the purpose of loving on her.

So to make it up to Piper, who felt shunned by the downed racer who never even looked her way one time, today we went to the beach.

As is normal for Beach Day, Mr. Woo got some Big Air

But the Wootie Toy is holding his interest less and less these days. After about 3 throws, he's bored. So I bounced Piper's ball for him instead and learned something new, either thanks to the angle of the shots ... or it's unique to Woo playing with Piper's precious toy.

Now tell me, dear blog readers, what do these photos have in common (besides not being stellar pictures, I mean)??

Do you see what I see?

MAD TEETH (tm) in the background of every photo! Apparently, Mr. Woo is not allowed to play with The Princess' ball as it makes her ANGRY. What a witch!!

I mean look at this!

Oh ... hold the phone sister, there are no Mad Teeth (tm) in this photo. There isn't even a PIPER in that photo. The black and white border collie in the back is Sport!

Bet you didn't know that Sport could run! But he can!

Look at him go!

It's the weirdest thing. He is, after all, basically a bag of bones rattling around in a thin furry shell, yet somehow he manages to pass himself off as a live dog.

He still would like to be indulged when it comes to food. The rules of feeding Sport are:
Rule # 1 - never talk about Feeding Sport

Just kidding

#1 - Never expect him to eat out of a bowl, or off a plate
#2 - Never offer something you offered him at the last meal
#3 - Never assume that he won't eat something because he claimed to hate it the last time you offered it to him.
#4 - Never assume that he will eat something because he claimed to like it the last time you offered it to him.

...etc. I am force-feeding him about 1/3rd the time, hand feeding him almost all of the other 2/3rds, with a small percentage for the times he actually eats food of his own volition.

He is still a bag of bones. No matter how much I stuff into him, he doesn't seem to gain any weight. But he does not seem unreasonably miserable or anything.

"Oh hai!"

"Stop taking my photo now."

Doesn't look like the face of a dog who bites other dogs at the dog park, does it?

Mr. Woo gets all sniffy when he's not the center of attention!

Tweed hates Sport and avoids him at all costs.

Look! A really cute puppy!