Saturday, July 07, 2007

Hire Me!

Seriously. I need about 1000 of you to hire me to take photos of your dogs RIGHT NOW so I can buy some property. I'm a broke ass punk. And I have fallen in love, and that love's name is Keeper.

"PLEASE!! I want to live with Three Woofs and a Woo!!"

Keeper is a 16 week old "Cattlejack" and she is available for adoption through our rescue, TDBCR. Except you can't have her, she's mine!!!

Le sigh. Although Four Woofs And A Woo has an awfully nice ring to it, 5 dogs is a few too many paws and barks in my small apartment. Life is VERY unfair.

But, at least, the summer, she has arrived.

Ah bliss; lots and lots of sun and lots and lots of playtime in the

Inspired by the sun shiny days we have been blessed with, Woo and Mr Red Dog have upped the ante in the shaking wars ... we now have not only mere shaking dog wars, but pointy eared shaking dog wars. This is no mean feat, considering neither dog really has uppy ears at all. I applaud the competitive spirit at work here!

Red Dog says: "Top these Elfin appendages, I dare you"

Woo responds by directing airplanes with his ears

The wind tunnel result of these wars killed Tweed*
(*not exactly true. if it were true, I would have room for the world's cutest puppy, Keeper!)

Le sigh. Again.

So this ridgeback? He, like, shot out of the water like a rocket? And I was lucky enough to catch it on (digital) film.

You probably are already aware of this, but the West Coast is famous for its varieties of salmon. But what you likely didn't know about are the rare varieties of 'bordersalmon' that are indigenous to the West Side of Vancouver, and which come in a pretty array of colours.

The Pipesydoodle black and white bordersalmon

The extremely rare Orange Woo Bordersalmon

You, blog reader, are extremely lucky to have me because I have captured with my camera a never before seen event. Each year, these rare salmon species leap their way upstream to spawn. This only happens during high boat traffic time and only takes place at Kits Dog Beach. You are just so lucky I was there to film it.

A few little known facts about these rare species of salmon: 1) they can traverse land as well as sea 2) they are carnivorous and dangerous to Australians:

Shhhh ... observe quietly, but never interfere with nature. The rare West Coast BorderSalmon are attacking an Australian. He's feebly trying to fend them off with a stick - you'd think the friggin' guy-in-a-tank-top would be enough to deter them, wouldn't you? I guess bordersalmon are oblivious to good taste - but he's out-numbered.

The bordersalmon are not only dangerous to Australians, but also are cannibalistic and will turn on one another without qualm

Spawning grounds are highly prized, so the race to reach them is on.

The waves are high, but the rare Orange Woo Bordersalmon faces the wall of waves with gritty determination.

While the more agile Pipesydoodle Bordersalmon leaps effortlessly over the water

Ultimately, the Orange Woo Bordersalmon is defeated by a wall of water. The Pipesydoodle salmon is clearly a stellar example of her species. She is also a gloater.

The orange one gazes longingly, imagining what could have been.

LOOK! A photo of Woo running by with a frisbee! Isn't that exciting?

I got this idea in my head that it would be a nice photo if Woo would pose on this big piece of driftwood. The problem with this idea was that Woo declined altogether to pose on the big piece of driftwood. Adrian said "Pffft, that's only a small problem, easily resolved" and proceeded to teach Woo to, well, pose on a big piece of driftwood.

At first, not so successful, as Woo preferred to pose on Adrian.

No one gets that close to Adrian without running away, and Woo is no exception. Just cuz he's cute, and sort of blond, doesn't mean Woo is dumb.

But eventually, with a little coaxing

And liberal bribing with tasty, tongue curling cookies

Woo posed on this big piece of driftwood.

Tweed is skeptical that this sequence was at all worthy of a blog entry. Party pooping no fun dog.

And Lars doesn't care. All he cares about is his ball. Dork.


Anonymous said...

Aaaahhhhh...sweet relief at last...
You know, if you did a tour, I bet people from the boards would put you up and pay you lots to photograph their dogs...

The Border Collies said...

I wasn't planning on blogging today but you browbeat me into it!! I'd love to do a tour - I'd love to meet everyone and their dogs! Imagine the good times we would have. Le sigh (again)

Anonymous said...

Heh, I knew I could guilt you into it. But really, I think you need to impose a three-day max on time between entries. Withdrawal, you know...

(Your fans are just so demanding.)

First stop on the international photo tour: Colorado. Seriously. Come here and photograph my dogs. But I have to warn you: one of my dogs is completely black with a wonky eye--most photos of her come out a blurry mess, featureless except for a giant left eye...


3dogslater said...

I have lost all respect for you...I can't believe you love the wee she-devil!

I am so disturbed I have come out of lurking which disturbs me even more. Back to my dark hole.

The Border Collies said...

*I* can take photos of ANY dog, weird eyeballs or not. But someone needs to fund my way to Colorado - it's a long drive from Canada!! You better get on organizing the tour!


The Border Collies said...

"I have lost all respect for you...I can't believe you love the wee she-devil!"

Yeah, see, that's the thing ... she ISN'T a she-devil. Seriously, she corrects with an "eh eh" and has shown no she-devil signs AT ALL. I think you bitches were making it all up! She is sweet and cuddly and I have poked, pulled and prodded her with no bad reaction - she played with Woo nicely, and even wrassled with Piper and Tweed. Fiona can pick her up while she eats and she doesn't even flinch (of course, she is inured to borderjackedness)


I love her *whimper*

3dogslater said...

"no she-devil signs AT ALL" Really?!? We've got witnesses, blood and scars as to her attitude. Guess that means you *have* to keep her!

Now Anna, Kim and I are all bitches and liars - sweeet!

The Border Collies said...

"Now Anna, Kim and I are all bitches and liars - sweeet!"

I feel obligated to defend my sweet blue baby against your slanderous accusations. Devil woman!!

Honestly, I think that all the great work that Kim and Anna did with her has really paid off. And Tempus showing her the ropes has surely helped. She is nothing at all like how you all described her now - she is still a growly, grumpy little cattlejack, but she's a loving one who is easily redirected. She has displayed no dog aggression, no possession aggression, no aggression period since she has come to Fiona. I REALLY like her a lot.

If only I could keep her. *sniffle* Life is mean.

Riva said...

I think the tour is a great idea! There is room at Casa de Riva for all of you (and that way you can deliver Keeper who you told ME was evil...obviously to keep her for yourself!!!)...or I guess you can leave Woo...since he's obviously not the favorite anymore. Poor Woo...

Seriously though...I have a very photogenic albeit BAD husky for you to "shoot"...perhaps you can get the pics of her stealing and hiding the avocados...oh wait, that already happened...maybe you can get pics of her finding them?

The Border Collies said...

(and that way you can deliver Keeper who you told ME was evil...obviously to keep her for yourself!!!)

Hey, I was going on the assessment of those nasty women who maligned my sweet blue princess!

perhaps you can get the pics of her stealing and hiding the avocados

My goodness - stealing avocados? What was she thinking??

Two locations booked! Keep 'em coming, kids!

Natalie said...

I just them all!

The Border Collies said...

You 'just them all'??

I am going to take that as a positive comment, because I'm a smug, positive person.


3dogslater said...

So does that mean she may be Tempus' new sister? At least that way you'll be able to see her often, and Fiona will lay claim to an evil borderjack and a "sweet princess" cattlejack.

Fiona said...

I wouldn't call her a "sweet princess". I would call her a wilful imperious stubborn smart endearing princess. And to the best of my provocations, she is not by any means Tempus Mark II.

Tempus Mark I can stop Sheena dead in her tracks with a look at 6 feet away.

dp said...

I like the picture of Woo with the frisbee. Looks like he's got about one molecule of plastic hooked over his teeth and he doesn't like it one bit. As such, I would argue that "with" is a bit too definitive.