Tuesday, September 04, 2007

So, You Want To Pee In My House ...

Well then.

Try it now.

Ha Ha! Boy's wearing underpants ... GIRL underpants!!

Mr. Balls thinks he should lift his leg in my house, specifically, on my furniture. We've had several discussions about this activity, and it all ends in the same way ... he lifts his leg, I put him in his crate and tell him I hate him - I let him out and he does it again.

Yeah, well, pee on this pal.

So my camera is still MIA. I called Canon today to ask them when it might be ready, and they said they'd email me when they had diagnosed the problem. I wondered aloud how they would do that without my email address, which caused some confusion with the Canon fellow. Einsteins, all of them, I tell ya.

They assure me that some time this week they will let me know how long it will be before I can have it back. I'm all, like, itchy and stuff without it. I really hate this point and shoot.

Mad Teeth (tm) are downright ugly without it :(

I have told Woo not to despair, The Food Lady's camera will return!

"Where is it, Food Lady? Will I never be a star?"

... but he seems to have given up.

Back to Big Headed Boy.

Someone is too smart for his own good. That someone can break out of his crate anytime the mood strikes him. Last night, it struck him at 2AM and then again at 3:30AM. Boy would like me, at these times, to play with his New Favourite Toy:

At 2AM, when he thrust this disgusting thing in my sleeping face - and it has a really obnoxious squeak, BTW - I told him "When pigs fly, pal." But this is what appears to have prompted the 3:30AM wake-up call ... it seems he pondered my statement for a while and realized that this was exactly what he wanted. He wanted the damn pig to fly. He's a fetch machine, this dog. He would like nothing more than for me to throw the obnoxious squeaking pig for him over and over and over again.

So to satisfy the natives, who were restless, we took a trip to the beach. You know we do this, because I have documented it dozens of times! But today, I made you a video.


Can you identify this?

Gross. It was The subject at the dog beach today. Apparently, it is some kind of jellyfish. Apparently it stung someone. Apparently, it's responsible for third world famine and the crazy people in Brittany Spears' head!

Whatever. It was icky. That slice in it? That was me, trying to turn it over with the Chuck-It. My bad.

Now I'm stalling for time while the video uploads ... lah di dah ... doodoodoo ... oh! I know what to tell you.

From this day forward, there will be no more photos of Round Eye. Round Eye has moved on to bigger and better things than this paltry 450 square foot apartment. Specifically, Round Eye has moved in with Auntie Cheryl.

Auntie Cheryl's birthday is coming up soon, and when her partner asked her what she wanted she said "Food Lady's kitten Round Eye." Mighty presumptuous of her, no? Seems she has taken quite a shiny to my snotty little kitten.

See, I never wanted two kittens. I wanted ONE kitten. I got suckered into taking two. And while two kittenz is fun and all, I really only wanted Angry Donut. Plus, Round Eye has taken several years off my life by leaping over the deck railing and running around the building on the gutter ledge. I am on the 11th floor, and this scares the sweet bejesus out of me. The whole point of moving to this apartment was to provide Red Dog with easy access to a potty box in his old age, and that means leaving the door open. Angry Donut is a good Donut and doesn't leave the deck floor. Round Eye ... not so much. So today she left with Auntie Cheryl to be a farm kitty. I told her to watch her chickens, and Auntie Cheryl just laughed.

Can't say I didn't warn her.

Angry Donut doesn't seem all that concerned. After all, she has Woo.

Say bye bye, Round Eye!

Ah, the video. Here it is. A little slice of my life.


 Videos,  Movies, Pet Profiles, Dogster


Anonymous said...

Love the video. I also love the song - what is it?

MahnaMahna said...

i can see why you adore Red Dog so much... i adore him, too.

The Border Collies said...

"I also love the song - what is it?"

It's a song called "Let The Cool Goddess Rust Away" by a band called 'Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.' A great band, you should check them out!

The Food Lady also has good taste in music. Sadly, her movie making talents are somewhat rusty :)

mammalsandbirds said...

I love, love, love your blog. You really know how to bring out the laughter and joy of dogs. I love boy too. He's so happy with you guys. That may be the only problem with your fostering - what dog in his right mind would ever want to leave???

The Border Collies said...

He's not going to like me so much when I shell out cash to have his testicles removed on Thursday!!!

My furniture, however, will be grateful.

alicia marie said...

one question...

why do your dogs run into the ocean, and then jump? now I know that's how you get those faboo pictures of them in the ocean, but that's not normal!

Jager just runs in...no jumping!

Ben_Benjamin said...

Oh you always suprise me each time visit...first closing down blog, then the dark color Harriet and now sending away Round eye..oh my my my.....I love that kitten, especially the big round eye..looks like my Oreo. Im gonna miss that little round eye.

Anonymous said...

Gives a whole new meaning to ..... Boy(s) keep your pecker in your pants.

phantomdane said...

I found you via PetFo, and have become addicted. I have felt until now that remaining in silence was how I preferred to partake your blog. But I cannot remain silent any longer! No more Round Eye!!!??? Have you gone insane?? I adore that cat. I am going to dearly miss his adorable face. I will be sated, however, with massive quantities of either Angry Donut or Red Dog photos. Get rid of either of those, lady, and all bets are off! BTW loved the video...made Red Dog even more magnificent than in still photos!

Anonymous said...

Dogs pant. Boy pant(ie)s.

mysweep said...

Oh, Red Dog.. I can see why he's so special to you. I have one like that too. :-)
I am completely addicted to your blog!

Natalie said...

Dogs in panties. Way too funny.

I am sad that Round Eye is gone. :( He was a cute kitty. :(

Kimzebaba said...

Thank you thank you thank you (i could go on) for keeping up the blog - life would be much less entertaining without TWAAW!!
and of course, the fabulous Flamboyance!

ps.. dogs in panties. tee-hee....