Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Adventures of Mr. Tube Steak

Here's a tube steak in an elevator!

Poor Red Dog. It's his new nickname. He is shaped like a tube. It's not his fault - before the steroids, he had a waist and everything. And it's not that the steroids have made him fat; on the contrary, he is leaner now than he was before his elbows started going bad. But for some reason, his body shape has morphed into a piece of penne with a head. But Penne Dog sounded almost noble. We can't have that!! So Mr. Tube Steak, here we are.

Mr. Tube Steak waits for his ball!
(do you notice this is his only pose?)

So Mr. Woo and I had an argument at the beach today.
Sassy little thing. He wanted to be a Viking. I think it was inspired by this:

I told him NO. I said yes, he has red hair and yes, he can make a lot of noise, but no way was he leaving me to be a Viking! First of all, Vikings are big and Woo is small. Secondly, Vikings are mean and Woo is a pansy. Sound arguments like this. But the little bastard hurled himself in the water and tried to swim away!

Fortunately, Miss Piper body blocked his escape

He was pissed. Even The Flamboyance (tm) was all angry and twitchy and stuff.

Mr. Tube Steak exits the water!
So in a fit of pique this week, I emailed Canon customer support and their PR department and explained to them how unhappy I was with the process of repairing my camera, how lousy my customer service experience has been and just generally described how I felt Canon was driving customers away by behaving in this manner.

The response I received was BIG FAT SILENCE. Canon has now had my beloved camera for 21 days. Three miserable weeks. Does it really take THAT long to replace a 50 cent pin??

Wah :( I feel naked!!!

Tweed thinks I should just suck it up and throw the damn ball.

But what does he know? He doesn't even have thumbs.


riva said...

ok...I'm not sure its proper to call Red Dog "mr tube steak"! Maybe "mr sausage body" but "mr tube steak" really brings other things to mind and that's not good (yes I am a sick person).

Woo might make a great viking as long as there were no real skirmishes...he'd need mad teeth(tm) to protect him.

As for Canon...they are bastards. They never responded to my little gem either. Shows how much they care. I say not another penny in their pockets...sleazy assbag scumsuckers.

Jennifer said...

At this point, you should start making noise at higher level. Do some homework and try find out who the head of Canon's marketing, PR, customer service (not managers - the actual heads, CEO, VP, or whatever the title is) and contact them.

GoldenApollo from CL

The Border Collies said...

Don't you guys have Mr. Tube Steak in America? It's a hotdog vending company here in Canada. My inspiration was the fact that I drive past a Mr. Tube Steak everyday on my way home from the beach!

Piper doesn't want to be a Viking. She is a lone gun(wo)man on the road to hell, paved with Mad Teeth (tm). Mr. Woo is a Viking among squirrels only.

riva said...

no Mr Tube Steak here...just wieners. hehehe...but seriously...Red Dog needs a more dignified handle!

I do have to say...driving by a vendow with "Mr Tube Steak" on it...would make me laugh each and every day.

Anonymous said...

So...just wondering, would you buy another Canon again at this point?

We do not have Mr. Tube Steak in America. And it does sound a little, um, naughty.

The Border Collies said...

Actually, I probably would buy a Canon again ... but not new. I won't patronize them by giving them my money. I would buy a Canon from another photographer though. As I've said, I'm really not prepared to start over with brand new lenses and accessories.

PhantomDane said...

Erm, yes I agree with the other Americans. Mr Tube Steak is something my husband would say and then collapse into a fit of teenage giggles - what can I say, I like 'em goofy. I think Red Dog is quite dashing, no matter how long and cylindrical he may become!

I also have a mental picture of Woo standing at the helm of said Viking ship, something simliar to Titanic's "I'm the King of the World" clip. Fantastic.

I can has more angry donut pwease?

jane said...

Angry Donut looks sweet and precious, not angry at all.

Woo, you would be a swell Viking!! The hat would look great on you!

jane said...

Oops, I posted in the wrong section! Duuuhhhhh!