Sunday, January 11, 2009

A story by Tweed

Hello, my name is Tweed.

I'm going to tell you a story about my idiot little brother, Mr. Woo. Because he sucks.

The Food Lady got Mr. Woo a new toy. It's not much of a toy, it's just a big plastic ring, but Woo is a nerd, and easily amused by stuff.

He was really excited about the new toy.

He did that stupid BarkScreaming thing, and made people come out of their houses and stare at us in the park. It's so embarrassing.

The stupidest part of all, is that he didn't even know how to play with the dumb toy.

So the Food Lady had to teach him how to play with it, and even then he couldn't make it work. He kept getting stuck in the toy.

Sometimes I think he is reta-

"TWEED! Language!"

Sorry. Sometimes I think he is mentally challenged.

How hard is it to figure out? Seriously! And it's like he didn't even care. He just sat there with the toy wrapped around his head, like it was great or something.

Even Piper couldn't take it anymore, and got really pissed off at him. She tried to show him how to play with the toy properly ...

... but he ran away with it. He wouldn't even come to the Food Lady when she called him. I don't know how he gets away with that stuff. She'd KILL me if I didn't come when called. I hate Woo!

Anyway, he just went to a corner of the field and sat there with the toy around his head again. What an idiot.

Everyone is always going on and on about how cute Mr. Woo is and how cool his different coloured eyes are and stuff. It's so ANNOYING! Don't they know he's a total dork?

That's my story. I hope you liked it. Also, I hope you hate Woo now too. I'm cuter anyway.

Okay. So Tweed's not the best story teller in the world. He's kinda right about Wootie though. All he did was chew through the ring and we had to throw it in the garbage after our outing.

I was trying to get a good photo of the dogs running at me today, because they make really funny expressions when they do. But I didn't have my telephoto lens with me, and had to make do with the 50mm. That means that these photos are really up close and personal - i.e., the dogs are almost on top of the camera when I snapped the pictures! They aren't the greatest photos ever, but they're pretty funny.

OMG! Look out! I can't stop!

Holy crap! Get out of the way, you idiot!

If you think this is scary, look what's behind me. Hint: it's big and goofy!

Seriously, look out! I really can't stop!

Wheeee! This running-over-the-Food-Lady thing is actually pretty awesome!


Whew! That was tiring. Hey, why are you lying on your back in the snow, Food Lady? Hello? Food Lady? Are you okay?


MerleGirl said...

OMG! Aspen does the same thing. If he runs at you--watch out! Normal dogs stop, not him. Never claimed he was anything close to normal though.
May I ask what kind of camera you use? I just dropped some serious money on a new SLR to take dog pictures with. Errrr....I mean pictures of my children. Yeah, that's it. Damn, that's going on my permanent record isn't it?

compcat said...

Those 3 second from impact running pictures rock. Seriously.

If I tried that, I'd get a bunch of vaguely dog colored blurs, in the background of a really good picture of the snow melting on the lens from the previous impact. With, quite possibly, a dog nose print.

KC said...

I love your photography and your subjects. I also am curious about the camera you use. You have an extraordinary eye so the camera you use would be secondary. However, the information may help this novice in Salt Lake City, Utah USA take better photos of my own furry friends. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

This is my favorite post ever!
I love Tweed and think he is brilliant in his own way.
I also love your photos. They are always so honest!
Thanks for brightening my Sunday night~

The Border Collies said...

You are all too kind! I shoot with one of my Canon DSLRS - I have a few. The real trick is not the camera, but the lens, and the exposure and aperture settings. This is where you succeed or fail ;-)

Anonymous said...

Somehow Tweed's impersonation of 6yr old boy was compelling. Question: Was Woo's new toy flourescent pink or orange? Just wondering...

The Border Collies said...

Orange I think - I didn't really pay attention. It was a second hand toy (new to him, but not brand new) so it was sort of faded, but I think it was florescent orange. It may have been pink though, which would make more sense with the purple I guess?

Anonymous said...

Tweed, I, for one, am not enamored of Mr. Woops. Although I would like to hear his BarkScreaming -- just once, mind you. You are ever so much cuter and obedient. You pose so nicely for the Food Lady, too.
My number two fave in the clan is Briggs (rest his soul), then Donut, followed by Piper and then Mr. Woo (he does get mean Big Air, after all).
Thanks for the great post, FL!

Anonymous said...

Rosalie has the most bizarre reaction to fluorescent orange...she cannot stop chewing it until it is destroyed. Death to Fluorescent Orange! The only leash she has ever chewed was fluorescent orange. She destroyed another dog's fluorescent orange frisbee that way, and her sucker owner had to offer to buy a replacement. My best guess it is some weird light sensitivity thing.

Jean said...

Tweed, YOU are number one in my books. I don't hate Mr. Woo, 'cause he's definitely good for a laugh or two (especially when seen through your eyes), but you rock, Tweird, you are The Best.

dreameyce said...

OK the last pic?? SERIOUS "AWWWW!"

It's like Traum wrote the Woo story about Cove. Traum is dignified, intelligent, and loyal, while Cove is a total doof.... everyone swoons Covy though, and ignores the polite, manly Traum.

Cove tends to figure out toys well, but still hasn't figured out how to watch where he's going. He many times, has run into trees and broken teeth... OUCH!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Wootie-licious pictures, Food Lady!

Christy said...

Okay, you know how they say you never know if you're going to be someone who becomes an alcoholic or an addict or something, so it's best NOT to try anything to begin with?

Too late. I've read two posts and I am so addicted to your blog I'm gonna need rehab to stop.