Friday, January 23, 2009

Can I help you with something?

Maybe you want to point that camera at something else. Before I rip your eyebrows off with my teeth.

Need help? Here: "Look Mr. Woo, foolish dog, there's a cookie in the carpet."

What? Where? Really? Where?

Umm .. is there really a cookie around here somewhere? And is my head really, really big in this photo?

Excuse me, Food Lady? Can I ask something?

Yes Wootie.

Can we go to the park?


Oooh, me! I wanna go! Me too!

Yay! This is so fun! BUT STAY AWAY FROM MY BALL.

Aww, I'm just kidding. But seriously, stay away from it.

It's mine.

The secret to Wootie-Ball-Love is irregularly sized balls. (That sounds really dirty!). This ball I plucked from the toy basket at the last minute as we were leaving, as for the past few evenings Mr. Woo has been lying around in the leftover snowpatches eating "stuff" and getting fatter. It's called a "Buddy Ball" and it's twice the size of a tennis ball, but smaller than Fifa (tm). I can kick it, and he can pick it up. It makes him very happy, and it makes me happy to see the lazy little shit get some exercise!

This morning while walking in the graveyard at 6AM, I glanced up and saw silhouetted against the street lights the unmistakable Big Vee of coyote ears.

Now, I like coyotes quite a bit. However, I also know that the cold and snowy winter has been very hard on our urban wildlife, and that they are hungry. Recently a coyote ate someone's Yorkie in our old neighborhood:

So I was very cautious. I called my dogs, all of whom came immediately - even Wootie. Think they heard the panic in my voice?

And then - and this is the part that you will love, and wish there was a camera around - I put everyone in a downstay and then ran straight at the coyote. He didn't move. Humph. So much for my scary reputation. I had to go Yeti on his ass.

Yeah, umm, what?

Ok picture this - the Food Lady starts running through the cemetery, waving her arms all akimbo in the air, stomping her boots with every step and yelling "BLARGH AGAGAGAG RAAAARRRR" at the poor animal. And he ran - boy did he run. So would you, if a Yeti in gumboots was chasing you.

The dogs thought I was INSANE. They never even saw the coyote, and just thought I was having one of my crazy fits. When I returned to them, Wootie started doing "Roll Over" and "Sit Like A Bunny" in case this was some new command he didn't quite understand yet.

But we're going to be a little more careful in the cemetery from now on.

Is a coyote going to eat me?

More importantly, is it going to eat my ball??

You're both safe, don't worry. It already ate the colour in Food Lady's camera.


Hunde Haus said...

I used to live at 37th and Fraser directly across from that cemetery.
I had 2 German Shepherd Dogs ( 3 now ) then and we all had many adventures with the coyotes. My male rightfully chased them off. My female was more inquisitive.

We moved from the concrete jungle of Vancouver a few years back. I live only 200 miles away and I break a sweat of stress when I hike with my guys here in *back country*. I have the bears and cougars to regularly freak out about.


The Border Collies said...

hahahahaha! Yeah, I am pretty sure even Wootie couldn't charm a bear! Coyotes are bad enough - you're a bigger man than me!

Diamond Girl said...

Not just a yeti, but one in gum boots. Very, very scary!! Hilarious! And "sit like a bunny" is the exact command I give for beg.

Carol said...


Andrea said...

Great story....and I love your photos! My cat has the very same attitude! lol!! :)

Buzz's Food Lady (aka r0ssie) said...

Of course Wootie came and sat, he knows he's the fat one and the yummiest possible coyote snack.

I'm glad everyone is safe. I've found that wildlife seems to understand swearing i.e., "Don't you FUCKING even TOUCH my dog!!!!" works so much more quickly then "Scram! Get!"

Allie Oop said...

I like coyotes. Their song is thrilling to listen to. Allie has been called "coyote" more times than I can count (although I've never seen a tri-color one).

I never really think about Vancouver having coyotes -- too bad you didn't get a picture. That would have been something.



acb said...

Wow, thanks for linking to the youtube video of helping the coyote. I think that guy's heart was in the right place and I'm glad you posted that. We have lots of coyotes in South Texas (not far from the King Ranch) and while they occasionally eat a cat, they usually stay out of the neighborhoods. Course let's not get started how those neighborhoods used to be their homelands, but anyway. If I were to pick a dog of yours to eat, I know Wootie would be first....he's delectable :)

Roxie, Sammy and Andy said...

Mom is still laughing. Thank dog she wasn't drinking anything.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Anda said...

Wonderful pictures, I missed seeing their beautiful faces.

Re urban coyottes. I know this feeling very well. Just last weekend Chris took Ouzo out at 2 AM (don't ask me why they were both awake at that hour, it's boys stuff...), and right in front of our door, a coyotee jumped across the ditch connecting the two ponds on the apt. complex property. Chris pretended to grab a rock and throw it at the wild canine, who was just midly impressed with this scare tactic.

Immediatly after, Ouzo sniffed and pointed a dead orange and white cat on the ground, apparently they had interupted Mr. Coyotte's dinner feast.

Last summer another cat was snatched and eaten from a porch in our apt. complex.

I hate going out at night with Ouzo, that's Chris' job from now.

Anda said...

Ohhh, and something else you might find amusing.

Woman in Denver playing firsbee wih her dog is bitten by coyotes - she thought they were just stray dogs wanting to play :)

Cathy said...

In rural south Eastern Ontario thankfully the coyotes are pretty shy. Nonetheless, arming myself with pepper spray and a pellet gun helps with my confidence when I tell them that my dogs are not going to be a meal, and to get back to the woods.

Anonymous said...

a nice squirt with a water bottle to the face works as well. Learned that cycling and the nice doggies that liked to give chase didn't like it one bit.