Saturday, July 12, 2008

America, America ...

Thank doG for your strict border crossing policies! Why if it wasn't for them, the worst kind of people could sneak into your country. People like ... oh, say, Canadian k9 photographers.

Whew. Good work, America!!

Yes, this morning I had the lovely experience of being denied entry into our neighbour's country to the South. And you want to know why?

Because I am stealing American jobs.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen ... by making a day trip to Seattle to photograph a rescue mastiff and an elderly border collie at the behest of one of its citizens, I am putting your entire economy at risk. I am a thief, a roustabout, a no-good dirty low down Canadian criminal undermining the success and vitality of the US staffed workforce.


"That," I told the woman at Customs, "is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life."

This seemed to offend the gratuitously puffed up borderwoman, under her mop of bleach blond hair and 'my life is hollow and I'm dead inside' pallor. And she actually responded with: "Is not."

For real? I didn't realize Border Crossing was staffed by child labour. ("Is too. Neener neener.")

I reiterated that it was extremely idiotic, and she replied that me going to the US to take photographs for money was "like us Americans coming to Canada to mop your floors."

At this point, Food Lady was quite cranky. Sport had woken her up at both 3 AND 4AM to request some 'outside' time, and she got up for real at 5AM to leave for the border by 6AM, only to be delayed at Customs for an hour by a trio of idiots - the bald one, the extra dumb one and of course, the bleachie blonde with the stick up her ample bottom. Food Lady's patience, dear audience, had worn quite thin, and so her reply to this woman's rude comparison of her photographic arts to an exercise in janitorialism was very short and sweet.

"Why don't you," suggested Food Lady, "get bent."

At this point, Food Lady was fingerprinted, photographed and sent back home to Canada.

Before I left, I told Big Bum Blondie that I thought her country was staffed by idiots, and it was no wonder one of its citizens had to go outside the country and hire a Canadian. By now, my lack of deference to the Scary Border People was starting to really cheeze her off because she said to me, by way of parting:

"You're the one who wanted to come to America!" and "We have our own photographers!" I think only a massive quantity of self restraint prevented her from yelling "So there!" as the closer.

Having done my civic duty of making sure that the war of Canadian Condescension Vs American Arrogance continues as it should, let me say that if you are looking for a talented K9 Photographer in the Seattle area please consider hiring Erin Vey who is crazy talented, and not trying to steal anything from anyone.

Not like me. Damn insidious job stealing Canadians.


Lisa said...

De-lurking to leave a note:

May I be the first to apologize for your poor treatment at the border.

I live in Michigan, and our border crossing from Detroit to Windsor, Ontario is no better. Coming back INTO the US, as a citizen with a passport, I've been treated badly as well. Granted, I'm not expecting a band playing John Philip Souza marches to welcome me back to Michigan...but a little civility goes a long way.

When family would visit from other parts of the country, I used to take 'em to Windsor for a fun afternoon. Now, I don't bother, because getting back into the US is such a pain in the butt.

Scratches to all the pups from me (and sneak in an extra one for Sport)!

Riva said...

Dear Food Lady,

You seem to have forgotten what seems to be one of 2 main credos of the pitiful nation to your South.

1) You must excel and in fact REVEL in mediocrity. This is mandatory because if you shine others do not.

2) When in doubt...LIE! This means when you cross the border, you are "on vacation"; when you need to get US insurance for the car located in Mexico simply to get the plates renewed (aka pay taxes on a vehicle NOT using the roads), say you are "back in the States". If you fail to lie about things, you will be denied access. We only cater to lying apparently.

I am sorry for your denial...and it sounds like it might be more long term thanks to that sharp tongue. I also apologize for the MORON at the border...sounds like maybe a little nepotism from our president got her the job? teehee

I sent you a Facebook mail...I KNOW that what is probably in your spam box (dirty) will make you smile, giggle and torment the blog readers. :-)

Kat said...

I say we storm the borders with our cameras.

Kat, Montréal.

Ray said...

I *would* say that is simply unbelievable, but sadly, these days, it is all *too* believable. I'm stuck for words that might be acceptable on this blog, but at least there are only 192 days until this madness might at last be brought under control. Or not :-(

Kate said...

That's...insane. I do hope that this is the result of a particularly stupid border patrol officer and not some sort of policy.

On behalf of sane Americans everywhere (all, what, eight of us) I second Lisa's apology.

Buzz's Food Lady said...

There is only one solution: we must bring our dogs to you! Just try and stop me America!

Natalie said...

Oh fer f***'s sake. I too had a really bad time coming across that border by car (bus, actually)... I had far better experiences flying. I don't know why they are such pricks, but they certainly are.

A thread to their economy, yeah, whatever. I was apparently a threat to them too. I was taking their men! How dare I marry one of the good ones!

Drew said...

I'm glad you're getting support from your Canadian friends but you do realize that the same thing happens to Americans trying to sneak across the border to work in Canada.

Cavewoman said...

My apologies. I'd just like to make it known, I am not an American. I'm a VTer. As far as I'm concerned, there's a huge difference. Heck, until recently us VTers were more than happy to share a library with Quebec where people could enter/exit the building to either country without ever passing customs. And then it all came to an end because obviously some crazy Canadian library patron was going to...well, I don't know what that person was supposedly going to do, but I'm sure you see my point.

2halves said...

Wow. I have never crossed a border by any means other than air. It's certainly not on the list of things to do now. Was it a tax and/or work visa type issue? Why did you get fingerprinted? Are you on a list now?

You realize this just make you even cooler. I would totally be wearing a trench coat and dark glasses if I were you.

Fiona said...

Getthef*ckout!! No way?!? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That is so beyond ridiculous......

But we knew you were a terrorist, of course. Which is why we wanted to export you.

Anonymous said...

Oh my...glad you got back with only prints and a photo (and not a trip to the 'back room')
I agree with the others...shudda lied.

Muppetdog said...

This makes me so angry, I don't even know where to begin.

I'm coming up to Canada in just a few weeks...want to give me a description of the idiots on the US side so I can give them a piece of my mind when I come back home?

The Border Collies said...

Just for the record, I had no intention of telling the assholes at the border that I was going down there to do a photo shoot, but they searched my van and wanted to know why I had so much camera gear with me. It was just my lucky day I guess.

I'm not sure who Drew is, but he's confusing my American friends with Canadian ones. It's almost like he didn't actually read the comments. *gasp*!!

The day was not a total loss as it turns out though ... I made use of my yearly membership and toddled off to the Aquarium to take photos of jellyfish and other assorted sea life :)

And a reminder that comments on my blog are moderated, so when you act like an asshole, I delete your comment. Poof!! We've been through this before - it's a doggie blog. Take your impotent rage to a politics blog or something kiddies! Yeesh!

Carol said...

(First, as an American, I apologize, but then I live in liberal Portland, OR... Now on to my comment.)

Ah, power in the hands of idiots. The American way. Teehee.

It is true. In the US, lying to get what you want is expected. And half of us were stupid enough to believe you know who. Now we are traveling in the proverbial handbasket, as evidenced by funny K9 photographers being harassed for carrying (shh, look over shoulder, *cameras*) into the US.

I suppose this might put a monkey wrench in the plans to move in with insanedogowner. Damn, that sounded like heaven to me. But she didn't invite me.

The Border Collies said...

The most ridiculous thing about this is not necessarily that there is some kind of work permit requirement for taking dog photos - okay fine. It's kind of stupid, since I'm not a company and was not being hired by a company, and a couple hundred dollars over a couple of hours period going to a Canadian isn't going to break the proverbial American bank.

What's so stupid about it is that she actually said the sentence "you're stealing a job from an American by coming down here to take photos." Are you kidding me? Are they trained to be morons or do they really buy into this kind of hype? I didn't steal anything, and one of America's allegedly free citizens hired me of her own volition. Being accused of thievery made me want to both laugh and punch her in the face.

What's even stupider is that I got fingerprinted under the guise of "let's see if you are a wanted criminal in the US." Because I tried to go to Seattle and "steal" an American job, now I'm potentially a criminal? In Canada, you don't get to just fingerprint people because you feel like it, and if they had not hauled me over to the US side of the border before printing me and sending me home, I would have been on the phone to a lawyer before the twit could have said "neener neeer, I'm 9!" If I had known what I was being dragged into Customs for (they don't tell you that at the drive through window, they make you sit in their office for 40 minutes first) I would have simply turned around and gone home.

I will not be returning to the USA anytime soon. It is not that I do not love you, my American friends, but your border guards are douches and policies suspect!!

Someone in Seattle go to the Kingfish Cafe for me. I love it there, and was so looking forward to brunch today. LE SIGH!!

Corey said...

Sorry to hear about your Foiled Secret Evil Photography plans! I haven't heard anything quite this asinine since...well, I can't remember. It's that asinine.

So taking innocuous photographs of friends' dogs across the border is the equivalent to an American scrubbing my bathroom? You just can't make moronic diarrhea like that up.

drew said...

Customs people are jerks on both sides. Having lived in Michigan, on a river border, for many years I know that from personal experience.

I still think you're missing the underlying issue. You need a work visa to go to the USA to get paid to take photos. Whether it's dogs, people or flowers.

Sorry you had a such a miserable experience.

Anonymous said...

I'm originally from Michigan and and have experienced the border crossing in all forms. I was detained for further questioning in Sarnia once with a friend because we were born in different states than MI. Another time a simple wave was all that was required. apologies as an American for the buffonery of my fellow country people (slaps head at idiocy). One would hope that the border crossing guard would be as smart as a border collie.

Carol said...

You know, some ridiculously high percentage of Americans believe that FoxNews is the truth. So yes, you were trying to steal an American's job. Doesn't have to be logical.

My M-I-L is an opinionated bigot, especially about bicyclists, Hispanic immigrants, mass transit, Metro planning, etc. I have learned (nothing like hitting 40...) not to even try to set her straight. Logic doesn't work with someone who can't think critically. "Oh, LOOK! isn't it a beautiful sunset?" is the best response to her bellyaching about all these things ruining her way of life. I actually pity the poor lady, but then again, she isn't working at border patrol.

It doesn't help that they mislead you into fingerprinting/photos. Handbasket, I say. At least you can be proud to be Canadian, eh? :)

Brianna said...

Soooo so sorry about the Border Patrol being dumb. I would love for you to steal jobs. You're amazing.

citydog said...

Oh dear. Sorry to hear this. I'm horrified that they fingerprinted you.

I've only ever crossed the border on land via Vermont *waves to cavewoman* and everyone has been absolutely lovely.

Next time remember that you have all the camera gear because you're an avid ammy photographer, and crazy dog lady, and by golly, would they like to see some snapshots of your dogs? (This works because if they aren't dog people they just want you gone, and if they *are* dog people, well, of *course* they're going to let you in. :)

Holly said...

I'm so sorry this happened. Apparently the Border Patrol took "hiring the minority" aka hiring the handicapped to new heights. Had Hear Me Roar, I am Border Patrol, treated me like that I'd have been asking for her first, middle and last name as well as her title and her immediate supervisor. Then I'd have requested said Super on scene. Now. Pronto. Front and center. Then the tongue lashing would have begun.....and it would have ended ugly.

very flippin' good thing it weren't me they decided to fingerprint because of a bug up their arse......I'd have refused and gotten meself arrested. Put me in jail and then 'splain to your supervisors supervisor why you did something you can't do because you don't like me coming to take photos.

The Border Collies said...

"I still think you're missing the underlying issue. You need a work visa to go to the USA to get paid to take photos. Whether it's dogs, people or flowers."

Actually Drew, I'm not missing anything though I do thank you for your "concern." I get that particular point, though I continue to think - and in my country AND yours, I'm allowed to think - that it's stupid. *shrug*

Nevertheless, the border guard did not inform me I required a Visa. Instead she tried to both belittle and intimidate me - her opening accusation was to tell me I was stealing American jobs, and then her kicker was to compare my photography to janitorial work. A truly stellar job of being informative. Then she fingerprinted me to make sure I was not a "criminal."

Now perhaps you appreciate that sort of treatment from people, but that's your particular blend of masochism (along with reading comprehension failure and being repetitive, I'm sure it's one of your many charms). I don't.

Even more on point - surprisingly, *I* bitched on *my* blog about *my* crappy experience in a particular context. I didn't complain about Canadian border guards, or borders in Michigan, or the price of gas in Minnesota because I've not had bad experiences with those things.

Now, go back to "Fark" and debate it there to your hearts content along with the other online masturba-theorists who get off on this stuff, but please stop repeating yourself in my blog comments. Blargh, it's so passe. Like Labradoodles, or BSL - it's been DONE dear. Now stfu.

Carol, I recently had a discussion with someone about Critical Mass. Her thoughts were that CM would be "okay with her" if they were raising money for World Hunger Relief or similar but instead they just "ride around blocking traffic."

When I explained that CM was doing something equally as important (in theory at least), i.e., raising people's consciousness about such pressing issues as changing perceptions about how we exist on this planet and use its resources, she looked at me with a look as blank as ... well, as blank as an American border guard. Some people just don't get it.

myhandle said...

Well, on a similar note, a old friend of mine had to get married in a huge rush last year because the Dept. of Homeland Security were threatening to deport his fiancee. To Montreal. Apparently the greatest threat to our national security is medical technicians visiting their boyfriends from Montreal.

riosmom said...

My first reaction is, as an American,to want to apologize to you but those border guards do not represent me any more than the sapling in the White House who stole the last two election does. Maybe the moronic border guard is a border guard because she can't get any other job and has to blame someone for her failures. But nothing excuses her behavior and an organization that would permit such behavior.

Haven't you crossed the border many times to rescue dogs? Apparently it is all right for you to steal our dogs that we would otherwise euthanize thus depriving someone of that happy job. And we call ourselves a sentient species - more like a failed experiment.

How is Sport doing? Is he eating? Is that why he had to go out twice in the middle of the night?

The Border Collies said...

"How is Sport doing? Is he eating? Is that why he had to go out twice in the middle of the night?"

Alas, Sport's appetite remains spotty at best. He has an iron stomach - no matter what I (force)feed him, he gets no tummy upset. And so far I have fed him Boost, baby food, cat food, dog food, boiled chicken and yams, boiled liver, chicken stock, pasta, raw meat and kibble. It's amazing what this dog CAN eat, but will NOT eat. Even his enthusiasm for liver has waned.

The reason he needs to go out at night is because Sport drinks too much water. Probably because he is hungry, and fills up on liquid. I am going to have to start taking away the bowl as I cannot be woken up like this at night. I iz so tired!

dp said...

Just like Fiona, I always knew you were a terrorist. Sheesh.

I wish that Sport would eat. He sounds so much like Reuben in his last month -- not really hungry, but very very thirsty.

The Border Collies said...

"I wish that Sport would eat. He sounds so much like Reuben in his last month -- not really hungry, but very very thirsty."

Yeah, I think Sport probably suffers from kidney failure at this point, and I am somewhat reluctant to spend rescue money to find out something I pretty much already know. I mean, he is 16 years old - there's not much I can do for him.

I will keep force-feeding him as long as he keeps doing his funny sort of chase-Tweed at the park and doesn't seem miserable. He doesn't - he just seems tired and old. But he comes for cuddles several times a day and he likes to meet new people and he likes to get in the car, so for now we will just keep on rockin' in the free world.

Rockstar said...

As you are finding out, some 'Americans' can be a**holes. Welcome to our 'free country'. I know it probably doesn't help how you're feeling right now about how they treated you at the border, but we love you and TWWAAW and we could only hope and pray that one day we could have such amazing pictures that you take of our own dogs.

Carol said...

BTW, cute Duck Tolling Retriever.

I wonder if Sport has diabetes, what with drinking a lot of water and not eating? That would explain the yeasty ears and stinky skin, since infection can set in easily with all the blood sugar to eat. Diabetes is not that hard or expensive to treat. Maybe blog readers can send Sport testing/treatment money via TDBCR's Paypal? Just a thought.

Kat's sis said...

Dear Food Lady,

As the US Citizen who started this whole mess by begging you to come take pictures, I'm so sorry! What a waste of your day!

And the WORST of it is that now my sister and I, and all our fellow US citizens, can't get cool doggie pictures from you. The mastiff and the border collie, who knew something was up, have been moping around all day. They're disappointed too. :-(

Rebecca and Molly the Border Collie said...

It sounds like that border patrol officer was an incompetent JERK! They should at the very least have informed you that your plans required a work visa. I am quite sure that she was not authorized to make decisions about who is and is not entitled to enter the country on a work visa. They are only authorized to evaluate existing paperwork and make decisions based on that.

I really hope that you won't let your awful experience scare you off future trips to the US. Just tell them another time that you are a hobby photographer going to visit friends.

The not-working-in-the-US law has been around at least since before 1988 because I have knowledge of it from that time. But the fingerprinting and treatment you got is still horribly inappropriate.

I think you should write a letter of complaint to the office about the way that woman treated you, including as much information about her as possible. She is not supposed to insult you, but just inform you of the laws and requirements for access.

I hope you have many enjoyable vacations south of the border in the future.

Anonymous said...

As an American, I am seriously embarrassed but (and this is even worse) not terribly surprised.

Can I move in with you? Kat is a Canadian so maybe I can finagle something that way?

riosmom said...

I know your list of things you tried with Sport probably isn't complete but I didn't see cheese, cottage cheese, or eggs in the list. Soft scrambled eggs w/ lots of cheese or cottage cheese mixed in worked for me with an emaciated cat who wouldn't eat. Poor old guy. If his kidneys are failing, he found a good place for his last days.

The Border Collies said...

I have tried cheese, eggs and cottage cheese with Sport as well. It is not that Sport does not like anything, it is that Sport will not EAT anything. There is a big difference. I have given up on trying new things, and resigned myself to force feeding him all his meals, though it is a huge PITA.

I don't think he is diabetic. If he were, given his erratic eating schedule and complete lack of us addressing it, he would have surely seized by now. He is simply OLD and I think the sum of his parts are shuttin' 'er down :(

Anonymous said...

No country has the market cornered on chest puffing. My relative from Europe, thought he didn't have to worry about border patrol coming from canada to usa from a cruise. He gave them attitude, and our train was held up for 1/2 hour. Border patrol agents (and any law enforcement officers for that matter) do get kicks out of throwing their weight around. I wonder if you had said you were on a pleasure trip, if they could have given you any trouble...

rosalie(ta) said...

yet another US immigration story -- this one at YVR. I stupidly told the last line of defense at US immigration (the guy who takes your card) that indeed I was carrying an apple for the plane. He sent me over to the Ag guy, who chose to confiscate the apple. Why? Because it did not have a sticker saying where it came from. My protestations that I was going to eat it BEFORE getting on the plane did nothing. My offer to eat it then at there got the response: "This isn't a cafe." No breakfast for me. For the next two years at every US airport immigration, and even the vehicle crossing, I got pulled over to the Ag counter for questioning. It wasn't until another person, also at YVR, sneered at the ridiculousness of the story and pressed some keys that I was taken off the apple black list. (Oh...I am a US citizen too.) It is always always a pleasure to come back to Canada -- at least the immigration people are polite.
Anyway, just be prepared to be pulled aside for a while whenever you enter the US. Sorry you had such a hassle. I hope the dogs weren't waiting in the car the whole time.

And sorry you are in force feeding Sport mode. At least he likes food though. Maybe he'll think about feeding himself sometime soon.

The Border Collies said...

roaslie(ta) - Best. Dumbass. Border. Story. EVER. Thanks for that one! I LOL!!

"Anyway, just be prepared to be pulled aside for a while whenever you enter the US."

Oh I know it. She said "you won't have any trouble coming to visit, but if you try to come back in and steal jobs again, you sure will." Except the only way they are going to know that is by pulling me over and hassling me every time I try to go the US. So I'll just give the country a miss for the foreseeable future. How stupid.

"I hope the dogs weren't waiting in the car the whole time."

Nope the doggies stayed home, thank goodness!!

Finnegan Dowling said...

Oh jesus sheena - lie like a fucking rug to every customs official in the universe. That's what they're for. Though ours can be particularly dip-shitty because a lot of them are wanna-be cops who are just so FUCKING STOKED that someone gave them a uniform and the power to fingerprint people.

Remember like eight years ago when I was bringing that dog up from seattle for you and they stopped me at the Canadian border because I made the mistake of telling them I was leaving the dog in Canada? And they were convinced it was some sort of highly valuable beast and I had to sit in customs for 50 minutes while schmuck-o tried to call all of his higher-ups to find out what the import duty on a four year old rescue dog should be? That was classic. I'm just sitting there at 8 PM at night listening to Senor Dumbshit trying to get someone on the phone and watching through the window over the guy's shoulder while the dog ate the front seat of my crap-box metro.

If it makes you feel any better all customs in the US AND Canada hate my ass. Remember last summer with Pete when they tore the Honda up for four hours in Victoria and couldn't figure out how to put it back together again? I finally had to give some dude at a gas station $5 to put the steering column back together. And then coming back into the US they took the goddamn car AGAIN and tore it apart. Apparently I scream 'international drug and black market border collie smuggler'.

I would, however, be willing to illegally scrub toilets in Vancouver if I could live near you and we could hang all the time. Line me up some damn toilets.

I'm not going to say anything about our BP being such tremendous pricks because, well, hell, look what we have in our white house. Instead I'm going to really fucking hope it's the trickle down effects of having a drooling moron make all our foreign policy decisions.

And just think of the fun they're gonna have with me in a week and a half when I have to explain that yes, I have been in a third world country for six months playing with mangy dogs.

Yet another reason I should have been born Canadian.


Anonymous said...

That is some ridiculous shit. Nobody I know has had trouble crossing between Alberta and Montana but that would be kind of out of your way.

gooddogz said...
that is the big Suck!!!!
blue rubber bee hive on the way. Hope it cheers you up...Nancy

Ray said...

blue rubber bee hive on the way

Uh Nancy... I hope that bee-hive has all the proper paperwork, alien registration, work permits... oh, sorry. Wrong direction - it's *leaving* the US (wish I could, too).

Anonymous said...

If it happens again you should act insulted they don't know who you are. Call them quaint and make some sarcastic remark about how you couldn't expect a border patrol agent to know a world famous photographer. I would put money on the fact that they would let you in... and offer an apology.

~ Sweet_ceana

Paige said...

I just had a VERY similar experience going into Canada near Winnipeg last week----it was like Barney Fife was running things--and that was on the Canadian side.

You would think I was really tripping them up with my trickiness---we got a lecture from some 12 year old worker in Immigration about a ticket my husband got as a kid in college for underage consumption of alcohol. He was told not to lie about it--which he had not, he was asked whether he had any "problems with the police". And it was 20 years ago, and frankly he had forgotten.

You would have thought we were smuggling pounds of crack through instead of just ourselves.

Very strange.

But made a funny story

citydog said...

RE: Sport's drinking,

If it's his kidneys, subQ fluids will cut down on his drinking and make him more comfy. I think a simple inexpensive urine test would tell you that much? Mail order Ringer's can be had for about $3 a liter, and each would last a week or so.

Alaska said...

Re Sport: I think the kidney failure hypothesis could well be true.

Re border crossings: Always be "a student". In my experience, border guards will believe any behavior at all is legitimate behavior for a student. (Yeah, I understand that you were past that point in this case....)

Re border stories: Years ago, a friend was on a bike tour somewhere along the US-CA border. All day long he'd been snacking on Hershey's kisses and wadding up the little bits of aluminum (sorry, aluminium) and tossing them in his handlebar bag. Time came that he had to cross the border. The guards were alerted by his beard (I told you this was long ago) that he must be a drug dealer, so he got to stand by snickering as they carefully unwadded every single one of those bits of aluminum (sorry, aluminium) trying to figure out which had the stash, all the while getting madder and madder by the second. Border guard meltdown and no one they could legitimately take it out on - it made his day.

Jeff said...

Way to go, Ms. Anarchist. Your photography will undoubtedly lead to the complete collapse of western civilization and the global economic structure now. Just the sort of story "Metro" or "24" like to print. Know anyone there?

LabRat said...

Oh, so sorry to hear about your border crossing troubles!!
May I add my apologies?
Why is it that most twits seem to end up with government jobs? Such lovely pensions, raises, insurance...gosh, does that huge ego come with the job, too?
Maybe the (border) crossing lady has a complex because the DMV wouldn't hire her.......?

K. said...

Dear Food Lady,

I live on the East Coast of the United States, far away from the big dumb blondie and other bozos with whom you had the unfortunate incident.

More often than not, it seems, America has the proverbial lion's share of idiots in the world. On behalf of intelligent Americans, I apologize for the knuckle-dragging twats among us.

Love the blog, borders be damned.



Joy! said...

Oh, for cryin' out loud. *shaking head* The self-righteousness of small minded people with power is just astounding.

Robin Sallie said...

I am an American photographer.

All I can say is WOW!

You were coming to take my job? Giggle.

I'd like to hire you to photography MY dogs. You can come down and use my camera stuff.

I love your blob and look at it often.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to add my name to the list of Americans that have been harassed by border patrol but only coming back INTO the country. In both borders. It's easy to get to Mexico and Canada (the guards there were lovely a lot of "Where are ya goin' 'eh? Oh that sounds like fun, 'eh" and what not) but it was really hard to get back into the country.

Love the blog, and love you for telling the border guard where to stick it.

If I could ever con anyone into paying for me to take pictures, I'll send you the money to use in your economy- ha! Of course, by the time that happens, the USD will be worth pennies to the CAD. Oh well.

Fab Laura ~ The Patron Saint of Crazy said...

Stumbled upon this blog while researching US/Canadian border patrol stories. I just had a doozy myself, returning to the US via the Windsor/Detroit Ambassador Bridge. Interestingly enough, I'm also a photographer, animal shelter volunteer AND dog transporter. I've been there three times now, and each time the US border patrol has nearly convinced me that I was doing something wrong lol. They try so hard to intimidate you, while the Canadian guard didn't even look at my license or birth certificate. I'm just about ready to come and steal Canadian jobs, because living in this country is becoming increasingly miserable lol.

BTW, your photos are wonderful!

Anonymous said...

I'm still appalled at this story, and a bit fazed since I have to cross this same border for flyball tournaments. I even spend a lot of time being embarrassed to be an American. But I did have one experience with a US Customs officer that gave me a sense that sometimes they are actually decent people. My Border Collie was born in Canada, and I flew her home via the Customs crossing in your fair city. The Customs Lady on duty exhibited the traditional stone face and menacing manner when I handed her the customs form, dutifully filled out on the plane, checking the box for "meat, fur, live animals."

"What kind of MEAT are you bringing in?" she demanded. I quaked.

"Um, it's a puppy," I replied in a subdued fashion.

Her face split into a huge grin. "Really? A puppy? Can I see it?"

She duly drooled and cooed and behaved like a normal person confronted with a preternaturally cute baby Border Collie.

Perhaps Food Lady should have salted her car with a borrowed puppy as a diversion.

~Portland Flyballer

Katharine Swan said...

"I still think you're missing the underlying issue. You need a work visa to go to the USA to get paid to take photos. Whether it's dogs, people or flowers."

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Full time jobs are work. Freelancing is freelancing. Period.

I am an American but I write for clients in other countries all the time. And there are lots of Indian writers who write for American companies all the time. Is this bozo trying to say that the Border Patrol now also needs to be responsible for tracking down all of these writers and taking away their Internet connections? There's not a big difference between writing for someone in a foreign country and taking photographs for someone in a foreign country.