Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day


Nobody else wanted to wish you a Happy Valentines Day by posing near the random flower we found. Just Tweed. Sorry.

So a little while ago it, like, snowed and we have photos of that. And now it's not warm, exactly, but warm enough to play at the beach. We have photos of that too. But first...

Is this your pitbull playing tug with Abby?

If so, he's a nice dog. Plays nicely with others. The guy you hired to "train" the "aggression" out of him is a (cover your kids' eyes please; filthy mouth alert)

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FUCKTARD!

Seriously. You've not hired merely a charlatan, you've hired a fucking SADIST. Your first clue might have been when he confused "poor recall" with "dominance."

The second might have been when he picked your sweet, playful pitbull up, held him 5 feet above the ground and then slammed him to said ground ribs-first like dead weight, all the while pontificating to his horrified audience (ie me and Auntie Jody) about how "that'll teach him." If he had done it to a less robust dog, it might actually have been dead weight after that treatment. If he'd done to a less good natured dog, it might have ripped his stupid moustached faced off.

BTW, if this same fella is walking your Malamute or maybe your piss-terrified Portuguese Water Dog and he's got them chained together about 6" apart so they get agitated, tangled and then they fight (with the pitbull, who lost his off leash privileges for playing frisbee). And when they fight, he slams them to the ground too and holds them there BY THEIR LIPS until they SCREAM with PAIN.

This time, I called Animal Control and the SPCA and gave them his license plate #. Next time, there is a possibility I may kick him in the testicles while Auntie Jody holds him down by the lips as he screams.

This is a good time to remind you all that CRAZY ASSHOLES ARE SHITTY DOG TRAINERS!!! Don't hire them!

/end rant


This is what passes for snow in our 'hood.

Dusty has made himself at home with the pack, as you can see. He spends all his time chasing Wootie, and Wootie spends so much time fending him off he can't chase Piper, for which Piper is very grateful.

All this running has not made Woo any thinner though. He is still fat.


But that snow is long gone. We're back at the beach this week with our pals.
(Dusty found the table too scary to climb on)

Dusty was chasing Woo and keeping him distracted, so there was no one to chase Piper... except this weird leggy creature with no torso:

Dusty gave "fetch" a try and decided he liked it.

But not as much as Mr. Woo liked ....

...this log.

"Oh yeah baby. I wanna rub you allll over." (look what it did to The Flamboyance (tm)!"

I know it's Valentines Day and all, but this was a blatant PDOL!! (Public Display of Lasciviousness)

I was getting a little worried. But then Woo's girlfriend showed up and thankfully he abandoned his log love. Dusty looked on with envy. Woo likes Dusty, but not like this!

Abby just wants you to throw her frisbee. Please?

Happy Valentines from me and my pack. The dogs are going to chill at home tonight :)

12 comments:

Natalie said...

Oh my god! Your description of that "trainer" has me seeing red!! Oh there are just so many names I could call people like that. I do like fucktard though.

Dusty is a cutie pie!

Anonymous said...

You didn't happen to snap a few... um... strategic photos of said f-tard to perhaps... um... share with the authorities in the form of a short photo documentary delivered to their offices with said license plate # attached?

Your fire is back - and it's a nice thing to see.

riosmom said...

I agree about getting photos of this idiot. If I lived closer, you could get a photo of me kicking him where it would do the most good.

Good to see pics again of Woo being Woo - he is so, well, SO Woo.

myhandle said...

Tweed can be my Valentine. I think he's cute. (Okay, and on the other side of the continent....)

jane said...

The Flamboyance is as magnificent as ever! Thanks for the tail shots! More Woo please!

I hope you and Auntie Jody teach that idiot a lesson he won't soon forget! Take pictures of the throwdown!

dp said...

Mr. Woo CANNOT be my valentine.

Buzz's Food Lady said...

Woo and the log. **snort** hilarious. Ryan turned out big, huh?

squark said...

You just had to put the story about that @$$wipe right after Tweed's valentine so no one would comment on his bedroom eyes or come-hither smile... poor guy gets no love. Well, big smooches for Tweed from California - or wait, better yet, after Jodi steps on this "trainer"'s lips, you can make him kiss Tweed's butt. Yes, that should make everyone happy.

Anonymous said...

People need to know when the trainer they hired is a fucktard who abuses their dog. I wish people would be more careful about who they hire. It pisses me off knowing that the FUCKTARD will ruin many nice dogs and one will bite him eventually and be put down.

Anonymous said...

I vented about the so-called trainer but I didn't say that Tweed can be my Valentine any time! Or Woo or Dusty. You and Piper are lucky girls.

Anonymous said...

I must say, that Dusty is SO handsome! He is just gorgeous...Posing there on that couch, he's like the perfect 'Man's best friend' spokesmodel...if he were human, he'd be modeling calvin klein underwear or something appealing of that nature. I LOVE him.

-SincereArtisan

Anonymous said...

I love Tweed.
I love him for his redness.
I love him for his obliviousness.
I love him for his head tilting good looks.
I love Tweed.