Saturday, February 28, 2009

They Getcha Comin' and Goin'


Buggers.

I think I mentioned a little while ago that whilst at the dog park, Piper got jumped on by a large dog that was wearing, for mystery reasons, a very big and heavy carabiner on its collar. When Piper whirled about to fend off Jumpee McPouncerpants, the carabiner smacked her square in the teeth, shearing one off horizontally and splitting another vertically. Le sigh.

At work the other day, Piper flashed some Mad Teeth (tm) at her brother over the prized object of Mr. Pickles' apple core and I noticed that the split tooth was visible from root to tip through the gum, which meant the gum was receding at a fairly rapid rate. I wiggled the tooth and it did a little dance for me in her mouth, and was clearly painful. The gum was all puffy. My coworkers and I merrily debated the option of tying a string to said tooth and slamming a door to remove it, but in the end a vet visit was necessary to remove her broken teefies.

Poor Piper. She'll be toothless at this rate.

I rob you of your hard earned monies. And I am proud.

Speaking of poor ... I love working for a non profit organization that does important work for Canada's fur-bearing animals. However, they may as well pay me in gumballs and unicorns for all the wealth it rains down upon me. Piper's dental bill caught me unawares and in an, errr, 'economic downturn period' within the Food Lady's bank account.

Ze times, zay are, how you say, tight.

So to pay the Piper (bill) I had to part with one of my more beloved possessions, my Rocky Mountain Bicycle commuter bike. Today I sold it to a very nice person who promised to ride it every day, and treat it with love and reverance.

As I stood with my nose to the window glass, watching the woman ride away on precious Joelene, I shook my fist at Piper and shouted "Curses! I wish curses upon you!"

But she ignored me, because she was staring at MC Hamster, and drooling through her gap toothed face.

And then she went and hired herself a bodyguard. A muscley one with a fabulous ass!

Go ahead, beeyotch. Make Parker's day.

Listen lady, don't make me run really fast and put everyone else at the park to shame.

Oh, brother.

What Mr. Woo does not like:

Unneutered male dogs. He REALLY does not like them, which is something I only figured out recently. He borrows Piper's Mad Teeth (tm) and becomes very growly-snarly. It's kind of a shock, because he's usually such a genial fellow.

Immediately after this photo was taken, Mr. Woo tried to take this dog's face off - which was hard, as the dog's face was in his wiener. Woo does not like to be violated.
Poor Woo. Everyone laughed at him.

And speaking of being violated ... poor Tug! Everyone laughed at him too.

NO HUMPING TWEED!

And since everyone is being violated, why not a threesome?

Harriet does not participate in this sick doggie style free for all.

You are all perverts.

Run away! Run away!

Oh and hai!

Today we are featured on Macromutt!


8 comments:

BrittBeah said...

Piper, congrats on making friends with that nice looking greyhound. We really like greyhounds at this house. My three greys just wanted to say HI! And the boys think you are really cute ;) and if you ever need more body guards they will be happy to flash those muscles for you.

Black Jack's Carol said...

I'm so sorry you had to sell Joelene. Dental bills are the worst, human or canine! Love Piper's bodyguard. She knows how to pick 'em. Good thing dogs don't have the same concerns about perfect smiles. Mad teeth though - now that's an issue. Hope she can hang on to the rest, and spare your pocketbook! Tell Woo he'll have to go looking elsewhere for his mean look. As for all those perverts, I could barely look! Harriet, you'll have to report them if they continue to offend your sensibilities.

Yeah, I checked out Macromutt, and saw your photo at the top, right where it belongs:)

Carol said...

Poor Piper! Poor Food Lady's wallet! Goodbye, Jolene...

They do get you comin' and goin'! The Giz has TPLO surgery Monday after a partial rupture of a ligament in his knee. Some women my age MIGHT spend THAT MUCH money on a cosmetic procedure to reverse signs of aging, but not me. I get to spend it on my dog! Come to think of it, with what we've spent on vet bills over Gizmo's lifetime, I could look twenty again!!!

I love the photo of the greyhound. Totally captures the soft greyhound gaze!

pam said...

Poor Piper. But I secretly would love to see Mad Teeth now ;)

jane said...

Sorry about the busted teeth, Piper. Jack has the same problem at the moment and it is very $$$$$.

angie said...

jeepers. you should've gotten on that other dog's owner about the teeth, that's crap!

anyway, i love these shots, they bring out each dog's color very nicely. and then the commentary is always a winner.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about Piper's teeth and your bank account. I know just how that feels.

Is Harriet a Portuguese Podengo?

Michelle and five mad mutts

Anonymous said...

Woo may be wee but the Flamboyance has a life of its own! Love the photos.

Sorry about the dental bills. That really sucks. I hope you get some great photography gigs soon and make lots of money. I'd hire you but darn it I am too far away.