Saturday, February 07, 2009

It's a bird ... it's a plane ... it's

LLAMADOG!

So I bet you don't have any of these at your dog park:

HORSES

Oops. That was a Great Dane. Not a horse.

*shrug* same thing.

HORSES:

And do you know what horses are to Mr. Woo? They are GREAT BIG BUNNY RABBITS WITH HARD FEET. Especially when they run. Have you any idea how difficult it was to take this photograph while pinning Wootie to the ground with my knees??

But fortunately, I possess the Power Of Pork Liver. ZOMG! A recall on Mr. Woo?! Off of a GREAT BIG BUNNY RABBIT WITH HARD FEET? Is it possible?

Oh yes.

LA PROOF:

*feels very smug*

Now to get him to stop freaking out about the pug at the end of the block. The pug resides behind a fence, and we must pass it to reach the park. The pug says terrible nasty things to my dogs when we pass. At first, my dogs simply gave the pug the hairy eyeball, but recently Wootie has decided to accept the challenge, and respond in kind. He barkscreams and throws himself around like a fish at the end of the leash, and it's just getting downright embarassing.

Shut up. You luuuuuv me.


Did I mention that Miss Mad Teeth (tm) herself is scared of the pug? So while I wrestle with Wootie the Blowfish in one hand, I have Piper walking sideways at the end of her tether out in the road as far away from pug as possible.

It's getting so bad that he starts barkscreaming while we are still AT the park, in anticipation of passing the pug. I'm thinking of going all the way around the block - The Pug Bypass - to avoid it altogether. Got a better idea? I'm all ears.

Did you just tell the world I'm scared of a pug?

Shall we kneecap her for that?
Yes, let's. Jolly good.

Well then. Food Lady, prepare to die.

By the way, for those of you who were concerned...Tweed no longer sees dead people. He has taken up the new hobby of photoshopping himself into the dreams of happy mixed breed dogs.

I know. He's weird.

19 comments:

Carol said...

Cough, cough, cough. Gasp. Kuh, cough. Gasp. Help! I aspirated a mouthful of water! Gasp!

I know, everyone is wondering how I could be stupid enough to take a drink while reading 3WAAW. Yes, I know it's funny, folks. I wasn't thinking clearly.

Too funny, this post! Flopping Wootie the Blowfish!! LMAO!

I find myself checking 3WAAW even when I know it's too soon for another post. Multiple times daily. Thanks for the laughs and great photos. I must say Piper has been particularly photogenic these last weeks!

Diamond Girl said...

Food Lady,
I don't know what I would do without your blog. You are frickin' hilarious and incredibly imaginative, your dogs are beautiful, your photography is astounding. You really should put out a book.

Anonymous said...

My border collie, the BG, and I pass a particularly ferocious velociraptor (well, I've never actually seen it, as it is behind a solid fence) every time we walk a certain way, and the BG gets very upset and scared. (Although he's a wonderful PNWBCrescue.org success story) he is a reactive dog, and I've been working with him on not reacting badly to strange dogs and people. We use the "Other End of the Leash" method of focusing him on the tons of yummy treats I'm shoving in his mouth at the first sign of a reaction, to derail it. This works with the velociraptor too. While the THING does cause a ruckus when we pass and the BG does still whine just a bit, he also looks up happily at me (expecting the good stuff) as he trots by and the beast is almost totally ignored.

Anonymous said...

Oh Food Lady ... check out Tweed in the picture with Piper. Tweed has found spring, and he is stoned. Look at those eyes, damn mushrooms. Err, could be other BC green stuff.

Kathleen said...

I can't imagine Mr. Woo giving anyone the hairy eyeball...well maybe with just the BLUE eye.

Great photos as usual!

dp said...

Downright Tweird, in fact.

Watson also thinks that horses are bunnies with hard feet. Raven thinks that Watson is nothing more than an annoying gnat on whom to practice targeting her hard feet. No hits so far thanks to my intervention, but it is a testaments to Watson's dumbness that he still tries. Perhaps Wootie is the same way.

dp said...

PS: People over at Carol's blog are threatening to throw themselves off of bikes they don't yet own in hopes that you might send Tweed to them. Should I tell them that you might just take $10?

Celestine said...

Hi, I just found your blog and I'm really enjoying it! I realized that you're in Vancouver (so am I). I'm new here and wondering which vet you bring your dogs to see? Thanks in advance :)

Lauren said...

How, oh, how do you get such amazing pictures to go along with your witty stories. You're my idol.

Andrea said...

As always....amazing photos of the dogs!! :)

Paws on the Run said...

I just gotta say thanks. You always make me laugh. I always look forward to your posts.

As for the barkscream... if you get any good advice, let me know. My two feel every dog merits that serenade. It never fails to astound me the noises that can come from such a little dog!

The Border Collies said...

I'm new here and wondering which vet you bring your dogs to see? Thanks in advance :)

Welcome to the city!

We go to Kitsilano Animal Clinic on West 4th. I vet-hopped numerous times and after being continually disappointed with one after another - one in particular rescheduled an ultrasound 3 times in succession for no good reason, and another called me and YELLED at me because I waited 9 days for blood test results and finally asked them to be faxed elsewhere for interpretation - and finally the Kits clinic has been great. They aren't too keen on my raw food choice, but are otherwise compassionate, accommodating and were excellent when Briggs was dying. I could not recommend them more highly!

People over at Carol's blog are threatening to throw themselves off of bikes they don't yet own in hopes that you might send Tweed to them. Should I tell them that you might just take $10?

Oh Hell, I'd probably take $5.00 and a stick of gum ;-)

RaisingRiver said...

You know you read too much TWAAW when barkscream becomes a part of your everyday vocabulary. :)

Shasta said...

Ah, yes, the barkscream pass-by. My duo has two Shih Tzu mortal enemies on the corner that they do a daily barkscreaming duel with. Good times!

Becky said...

Mine thinks that horses are animals that need to be herded. We try to keep her several miles away from them whenever possible.

On a completely different subject, I know the link you have that says "Are you wearing dog or cat fur?" is about something real and serious and terrible, but today I couldn't help but look down at my (black) pants covered in (white) hairs and think, "Yep, sure am."

Fenway said...

What's up with the pugs. It's the only dog EVER to have set sweet Fenway on the road to Cujo madness.

Add to the fact of the pushed in monkey face that said pug was wearing a coat. I dunno. My BC just couldn't handle it. OMG!

BrittanyAnn said...

As always, I'm loving your posts! Great pictures, too! My fiance and I are coming to Vancouver for our honeymoon...any recommendations for places to go/things to see? Where are the best beaches, etc?

Black Jack's Carol said...

Hey, BC. You know way more than i do about dog behavior, but, for what it's worth, here was my solution to a similar circumstance. Black Jack only employs bark-scream mode for squirrels and nothing distracts her from her mission. For all other incidents, she looks irritatingly smug (I imagine, to the screamers), but Scott, my last dog, occasionally encountered behind-the-fence action that upset him. I just tried getting a treat ready a second or two before arriving at the dreaded spot, and he soon looked forward to passing by, and was so busy nuzzling to get his "reward", he had no time for retaliation barking.

Sweet~Ceana said...

So..... who do we need to contact to request Woo to be the mascot of the Winter Olympics?