Sunday, August 10, 2008

Quit Buggin' Me

"Shut up. Stop barking at me."

"I'm totally ignoring you now."

Some people never learn.
The Tweed Mad Teeth (tm) Sequence

Part 1: Growl. Elicit kind-of-worried response from irritating Labrador

Part 2: Borrow your sister's Mad Teeth (tm)

Part 3: Give intellectually-challenged Lab a few seconds for the warning to sink in

Part 4: Nail stupid Lab

I used to really get on my dogs for snarking at other dogs at the beach, I think because a decade of living with the very dog aggressive Briggs had conditioned me to expecting fights and holes. But now I let my dogs punish irritating dogs who chase them at the beach. I mean *I* find it annoying and rude when someone looses their big idiot retriever and lets it harass other dogs while they stand there smiling like an ineffectual and/or stoned lump on a log. I can't imagine how irritating my dogs must find it, being they are the ones getting jumped on, barked at, chased down and run over by dogs twice their size. It always amazes me that the owners of the offending dogs stand there and do or say nothing - they don't even seem to realize their dogs are bothering anyone, despite the Mad Teeth (tm) flashing every few seconds.

So now I let my dogs correct the offenders however they like, as they seem to do it fairly. Big or small, if you chase my dogs enough times, they will eventually tell you to piss off. Like these Berners, that were very sweet and cute:

But they also liked to tag-team other dogs. Tweed decided to put an end to that game.

And don't expect any slack just because you happen to be The Woo.
You'll still get served:

Speaking of Woo ... at the beach today, someone replaced him with Vampire Wootie:


I think he may have been enraged because this dog out-Flamboyanced (tm) him. I mean really - the white dog's Flamboyance (tm) is bigger than all of Woo. See the look of total disgust on his face?

It didn't help that today was the First Annual Border Collie Roll-Off.

First Woo had a go.

The Tweed stepped it up a notch with some fancy footwork.

But our friend Cooper brought home the gold.

He just really put a lot of heart into his routine.

Mr. Woo hates to lose. So he consoled himself by killing a very small puppy*.

*Puppy is fake. Don't freak out.

Once again, I was forced to engage in a My Super Old Dog Is Older Than Your Super Old Dog contest today. As usual, I won.

Gypsy is old:

But Sport remains the undefeated champion:

"Victory is mine!!!!"

Piper is not amused.

But Wootie is:

Tweed is just confused:


b13 said...

I want a Vampire Wootie t-shirt! That image is (80's flashback) da' bomb!

Kathleen said...

The blue eye definitely give Mr. Woo a vampire edge. Even without the mad teeth show.

Dunedan said...

ok, i couldn't resist whipping up a 5 minute vampire wootie shirt design:

The Border Collies said...



Natalie said...

I started letting Oreo teach young pups a lesson a long time ago, after I got a tad too annoyed by young dogs jumping all over her in a very rude manner for about the 100th time. And, really, Oreo does it so much more effectively than I ever could. (WHY in light's name do people let their dogs do that?! Especially to a dog who is obviously NOT amused.)

Anonymous said...

I don't know which is better -- the Vampire Woo or the outrageously Out-Flamboyanced Woo. No wonder he's taken to murdering small [fake] puppies. The Confused Tweed, however, really does look clueless. And weird. But you've mentioned that before. :-)

HELP FIDO said...

OMG - your blog is the funniest thing since frozen jello pops!
Thanks for always making me laugh! Yes...why is is that owners of rude dogs are completely unaware?!? And when you ask them to leash their dog or otherwise take some sort of control they seem oblivious to the concept and the need.

Anonymous said...

"Quit Buggin Me" is soo funny and witty. Your sense of humour can be scary, but I love it. Thanks for making my day.

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAHA! Vampire ... gasp... Wootie... gasp. OMG.

Anonymous said...

Last beach walk with Kat:
1. Kat ignoring everything but her pack.
2. Obnoxious duo of labs eye-balling Kat who was flat on the ground doing the *stare.*
3. Said labs tag-teaming & pouncing on Kat. Her response: ignore them. My response "Get off my dog!!!!"
4. Friggin' rotten owner standing there with a stupid grin on his face while his (*&#(&$ dogs continue to pounce on my 28 lb midget.
5 Kat heads out to sea. Literally.
6. I freak out on above-mentioned stupid ass owner and proceed to chase his dogs away like a loony woman.
7. Kat heads back in to shore and borrows Pipers Mad Teeth (tm)
8. I cheer.

Unknown said...

Hi, nice to meet you! I love your photos & your blog is great! Booker has low-tolerance for dog intervention when he is "'coon hunting" and he'll bare his teeth and snarl them off. All the regular dogpark dogs just leave Booker alone when he is in a "zone." Today though, a woman actually SIC-ed her dog on Booker and his raccoon-smelling tree. Then she was upset with Booker's response. Oh well. I kind of looked the other way, but not too obviously. Booker dealt with it.

Anonymous said...

Poor Wootie! That look on his face is clearly Flamboyance Envy! But cheer up, Woo, that other guy's tail is an ugly gray and not Wootabulous ORANGE!

Cavewoman said...

Perhaps I could borrow your dogs to instruct my dog on polite dog behavior. The few times he has been off leash with other dogs he has been quite rude. Which is one reason I rarely let him off leash with other dogs.

Anonymous said...

My b.c. doesn't like other dogs, even the one she lives with. The dog park can be an adventure with her.

Last week we had a family with multiple dogs/many kids/cooler of food and all were running wild (except for the cooler). One of hers was bugging my b.c. who is minding her own business stalking/catching her ball and laying in the shade, finally she had enough and busted out the mad teeth (tm) and ran the wild bunch off. The mother of the unrule-ies got huffy and sort of hollered out "who is the owner of that dog?" in a very self righteous voice. I turned and around and said "she's mine" in my most "do you really want to tangle with a woman who thinks you are an idiot" voice. Not another peep out of her. I guess my chuck-it scared her. LOL