Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Still Life With Chair

... if Wegman can do it ...

But Wegman has a studio, and cooperative Weimeraners.

All I have is a small kitchen. And a blue chair.

The first shots didn't go so well. Nobody was impressed that King Woo got to be the one to sit on the chair, and that includes Woo ... because he knows they will overthrow him sooner or later for this.



That was boring, and potentially threatening for Wootie. So I decided to try some individual shots.

Can't you see Tweed's self esteem draining away? It's like there should be a thought bubble over his head that says "That's it. It's all over. I have no credibility left. I have seen the rest of my life, and it is bleak -- nay, black. BLACK LIKE THE CAVERNOUS ABYSS WHERE ONCE RESIDED THE FOOD LADY'S SOUL!!"


"I won't stand for this!"

(ha ha. yes he will)

I think a close-up of his psychological pain is required

"I remember when I used to run free on the seashore, and make Mad Teeth (tm) at Wootie, and life was good..."

"...Now I am reduced to a prop. Can you help me blog reader? HELP ME. For the love of doG, help me."

As for Mr. Woo - don't even ask. It wasn't pretty.

"You suck. Die."


"No. Seriously. Die."

So like any good parent, I busted out the bribery.

Cookie time.

"Ohhai...isthatacookieinyourhand?"

"I'd like that cookie! Me me mememememe!"


*snerf*snerf*snerf*

Tweed's whole attitude changed! Suddenly he was auditioning for a major role in a blockbuster movie, and not thinking about taking mum's entire bottle of sleeping pills and calling it a life.

"Broken paw? I can do broken paw, sure! No problem!"

"What's that? Wash your dishes over here? I can do that too!"


*groan*moan*barkscream*
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Alright. I will put them out of their misery.

This is what a tossed cookie sees on the way down:

This is what the centrifugal force of a tossed cookie does to your dog's face:

And this what it looks like when your dog is not smart enough to catch a tossed cookie:
Donut says:

"I'm a cat. And I do not approve of these shenanigans."


35 comments:

CharlieDog said...

*SNORT!* Love it!!

And it's your fault, (yes, I'm blaming you AND Pia!) that I'm buying a way too expensive Digital SLR camera next month. All of it. Its all your fault. ;)

(And I love when you update. I check everyday.)

Mary said...

Oh Wootie...that shot of him missing the cookie made coffee come out of my nose!

Finnegan Dowling said...

I will now have nightmares about what it's like to be a cookie on the way down. And about not being Canadian.

riosmom said...

Thanks for starting my day with a laugh. Poor Woo - life isn't easy when you can't catch a treat and your person tells the world that you can't.

I also now want a blue chair - a great prop.

Fenway said...

Cookie on the Way Down made me spit the coffee all over my keyboard.

You've outdone yourself with drollness.

The BC's really tolerate a lot for food, don't they? haha

barjor said...

I love the cookie picture of Piper and then of Woo. Hilarious! (As always!)

Barbara & The Bedlams Pack

Carol said...

Again, Tweed is so cooperative and handsome. He can come wash MY dishes anytime. Wink, wink...

Carol

Buzz's Food Lady said...

I love Piper.
More Piper.

Please, thank you.

MariBy said...

Oh that was great - very creative! Well done!

Sarah K. said...

Hilarious photo shoot - and I'd say successful too! Your dogs and your cat are beautiful!

Anonymous said...

The camera STILL loves Tweed.

insanedogowner said...

Nobody does pathetic like Tweed. Nobody.

Brianna said...

This totally made my day! I love Tweed! He's my new favorite.

dp said...

Watson cannot catch cookies either. Willow gives him the most disgusted look every time he misses one. He also has not learned to shake a paw despite my hundred of attempts to teach him. Cute, but none too bright.

SkrabbleProductions said...

oh my, that was way better than any propped up weimie!!

I have to admit, I'm one of the daily checkers of TWAAW blog, everyday. I'd check it at work if I could.

The Border Collies said...

Ha ha! You guys are quick with the commentaries ... this post has not even been up for 48 hours and you are all over it! It warms my heart :)

The Woofs and Woo tolerate about anything for food, though Wootie does not tolerate shoes very well!

I am trying to figure out how I can create a mini-studio in my kitchen so we can take fun photos like this without dishes and the like in the background. My apartment is a whopping 450sq though, so I have to be creative, and whatever I use has to be easily stored in my basically non existent storage. Le sigh. Any ideas?

Carol said...

How 'bout an outdoor 4 or 6 foot plastic matchstick roller blind hung from the ceiling? Roll it up, clip up the drawcord, and it is stored right there ready for the next shoot. Cheap, too. I suppose you might be able to find a bamboo one or a paper one at an import store. Added bonus - if Tweed hasn't done the dishes yet you can leave it down and hide the mess!

b13 said...

Oh man I almost fell out of my seat from laughing so hard. You have a way with photos and words... and sounds.

jane said...

Poor Woo....he's surrounded by lunatics! May the barkscreaming begin and never end! Respect the Woo!

RaisingRiver said...

Great candids. I have a blue chair and was thusly inspired to do the same - even though I used a lesser camera, bad lighting and no composition. ;)
My Blue Chair & Dogs photo

Anda said...

These were SO good! Thank you!!! Each one was funnier than the previous one! I am glad to hear Tweed is finally being recognized for the hunk he is - I've been saying this for a long time :) Poor Woo, he cannot even catch a cookie :) Pipper is hillarious!

The Border Collies said...

RR - that was more a "blue wall" shot than a blue chair shot! LOL

Carol - I have thought of the blind thing BUT ... my ceilings are made of cement (The Food Lady learned the hard way, when she bought new, useless curtains) so you can put anything in them. I'm not sure who thought that would be a super good idea, but they are.

The hunt continues! ..

riosmom said...

How about free standing folding screens? They fold up out of the way when not needed. But I must say that I do not find the details of your home distracting. In fact, in this shoot, I thought the dishes gave a je ne sais quoi to the photos.

Carol said...

So, how wide is the opening/kitchen? Could you put a spring loaded shower curtain rod in the opening? Or maybe a closet rod into rod cups mounted in the walls? Then you could hang those useless curtains or a fun sheet up there. (Just be sure to push it back to the side away from the range!)

Schmutzie said...

You are being featured on Five Star Friday:
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/06/five-star-friday-edition-9.html

Anonymous said...

No wonder Piper looks disgusted - a blue chair - the lady only does all things pink.

Olivia said...

oh my god, absolutely hilarious! Your dogs are adorable and that picture of what it looks like to a cookie is golden.

dana wyzard said...

I think that you have been spending too much time in the kitchen. Take the guys where guys like to go......the bathroom? the garage? And be sure and throw cookies. That's what I have to do when my husband gets all depressed looking.

RaisingRiver said...

I'll have you know that wall is purple! I said the photo was bad! :)

omshantihandcrafts said...

THE WOE

THE WOE

*dies and is ded*

Toaster4JC said...

wow My friend Holly referred me to this blog and I love it! I might have to try some of these shenanigans with my dogs!

Holly said...

Hysterical.....terrific commentary.

lovelovelove it!

Biggie-Z said...

Cool! Found your blog through 5*Friday but I'm actualy adding a link from my dog blog. Love the faces on your guys. And you know, Wegman's pictures are too... static.

Biggie's Mom

Dirty Laundry Diva said...

What a cute post, I love the photos and I also found your via five star friday... Love the blog!

Brian Cluxton said...

Hilarious! I love the one about not smart enough to catch a cookie - one of our dogs does that, just watches it fall to the floor. And then eats it.