Dueling Flamboyances (tm) and Other Tails

Today we went to the dog beach.

We started out practicing How To Be A Wootie Toy. It's like yoga for Woos.

Then we wandered down to the beach, where Woo commenced the meditation portion of the outing.

*Ohmmmmm*

And he did a little bit of swimming ... you know, to tone his rock hard abs:

But then his radar (ears) picked up something and started working over time ("Cap'n, look at the size of 'em!").

Whatever he picked up on his Earadar made him pretty excited:


It was his girlfriend! We haven't seen her for a while, that sexy minx.

The flirting began immediately. First there were lots of coy glances:


Then there were The Dueling Flamboyances (tm):

Then the two crazy-in-love kids began to --WTF?

TWEED, GET OUT OF THE SHOT!

Yeesh. Okay.

Then there was the wrestling, and the chasing. Regrettably, I had the wrong lens on the camera, so I didn't get too many shots, but this one about summed up their lovemaking:

Wootie learned Mad Teeth (tm) from Piper, who taught him everything he knows about flirting.

Speaking of Piper, I think she was jealous. She tried to play it cool, you know, "hanging around" the Wootie Toy all casual, in case he came back for it.

*coughSTALKERcough*

As for Tweed, he was either burying his hockey ball, or he was absent-mindedly digging in the sand while staring at me like a sociopath and thinking thoughts like "If you don't stop taking pictures of stupid Woo and his stupid girlfriend, and throw my damn ball, I will kill you. KILL YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP."

He was pretty happy to pose for me once I put the hockey ball away though.

And a close up (secretly, I am a bit fond of this dog)

And this a completely random, and completely happy, Viszla puppy:

Donut says this entry was boring. But she's a cat, and everything is boring to cats.

ETA:

Today I got an email from Dusty's new humans. I miss PANTS so I was delighted to get the update. They said:

"Ruby was a little hesitant about him for the first few weeks inside the house but outside she loved having the play companion. Now they are good friends and mellow on the deck side by side during the day. He is a great companion on the trails when running and biking. He cracks us up with his clumsy ways. We think he may be part kangaroo also because he bounces so high when he is excited and has excellent stretch techniques. Thanks for introducing us to Dusty. We think he is awesome."

And along with this they sent The Photo That Made Woo's Eyes Pop Out Of His Head With Envy:

What a moron ... I mean, Marushin

The following photo was two years in the making.

Countless episodes of forcing Tweed to wear human clothing and be humiliated on the blog; months of taking this out of the closet and giving Tweed a cookie for not panicking (he used to be scared of it); untold hours of being rewarded for sitting next to it ...

... and at long last, Tweed climbed Mount Marushin:

That's right. Tweed has conquered his fear and allowed me to pose him proudly (?) in my motorcycle helmet.

Look at the brave doggie!
How stupid is this??

ETA: Lest you think I am exaggerating the magical feat of getting Tweed to pose in my helmet, let me offer this texted gem I received on my trusty iPhone on May 12th. It's from my ex boyfriend, who owns the motorcycle, and once lived with Tweed, and can attest to Tweed's life-long helmet phobia. He doesn't care for Tweed, but likes to read the blog. The text read:

"F*ck me, i can't believe you got that helmet on his head!"

See? SEE??
------------------
Piper, OTOH, speculated that I was out to kill her by asking her to pose in a simple scarf. Donut, with her Incredulous Sniffer of Disbelief, did not help matters.

"Holy crap, what's she doing to you?"


So Tweed thanks you all for the birthday wishes. He thinks they would have been a lot better if they had all come with wieners, but he'll take what he can get.

Proof that Tweed is happy:

In other news, The Infamous Woo is going to be on television ... again. He happened to get interviewed by these nice people from Taiwan, who were filming a travel show and happened upon the dog beach.

I did most of the talking, but apparently Woo is more interesting. And even more interesting than Woo, apparently, was the Chuck-It (tm). Apparently they do not have Chuck-Its (tm) in Taiwan.

Financial Tip Of The Day: Become a billionaire and import Chuck-Its to Taiwan.

The host of the show, Brian, must have chucked Tweed's ball about 4 trillion times, so much that Tweed got downright tired of going to retrieve it. That hardly ever happens.

Here is standing on the shore kind of going "le sigh."

I do not know the name of the show, as I forgot to ask, and don't speak Tawianese anyway, so I will never see it. But it never fails ... somehow, Woo manages to get on tv wherever he goes.

It must be because he does stuff like this:

What a card.


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
(my ungrateful little brats didn't get me anything! I hope other dog-mums out there got something sweet!)

Happy Birthday To ...

That's right. Mr. T turned 8 years old today. And as has become tradition in my sad, single woman life, I bought the damn dog a birthday cake. That's right, I did. I am not ashamed. That's *totally* not why I cry into my pillow at night!

Anyway, Big T is lucky he got anything at all, considering the state I am in. See on the weekend, Heather and me decided to drive out to Langley and climb aboard a couple of these:

Now, I have been riding all my life, but the older I get the less frequently I go, because it's expensive and other stuff like that. So it's been a couple of years since I last got on a horse, and I'm a little out of, err, shape. Horse shape I mean - I'm pretty in shape otherwise; I run three times a week and I cycle every day (*runs over, kisses Joelene*). But horse-shape is different. My spinal column is definitely not in horse-shape.

Anyway, here is Heather on a horse, since I took the photo and said "I'm putting this on my blog!"

And so it comes to pass.

Okay, but this blog is not about riding horses. Long story short - horseback riding hurt like a mother, I ran for an hour the next morning and today I am practically incapacitated because my neck/back is KILLING me. We almost didn't get to do the Birthday Dog Beach trip because I'm all hunched over like a 90 year old man. (Actually, I shuffled past an elderly Asian gentleman today who was basically wearing the same outfit as me, right down to the hat. We could have been twins, except he appears to be in better condition - he was downright jaunty, comparatively). Jason would call this further proof that Riding Animals Is Bad. Shut up Jason.

But it's Tweed's birthday, so off to the beach we went.

Does anyone else hear Krusty The Clown's laugh in their head when they see pictures like this?

I made the mistake of telling Tweed before we went that there would be cake afterward. And he was pretty preoccupied with the idea of cake.

He wasn't the only one.

After some frolicking at the beach, we went to the Doggie Cake Store, also known as Three Dog Bakery, where Tweed was captivated by the choices.

We picked up our cake and continued home, so I could torture the dogs a little bit.

Oh hi Tweed, is it your day for cake?

"ohmygod...someone's looking at my cake."

A wee taste test:

And then individual nomnomnoming pictures. These aren't very good for 3 reasons: 1) it really hurt my neck to hold the camera with one hand and the cake in the other and 2) my hands were covered in cake icing and I couldn't change the camera settings and 3) I was giggling like an idiot, and that causes camera shake. Whatever. I am easily amused!

NOMNOMNOM!


ha ha! And then the leftover Big Piece also went to Tweed. He reports that it was somewhat difficult to eat.

That still does not explain what he's doing with his tongue though.

So yeah ... me and this crazy dog ...

... have been together for almost 8 years now. He's a PITA, is definitely autistic, he bites Mr. Woo, like, every single day ... but he's also a funny little character who tries real hard to be the dog he thinks I want him to be.

Happy Birthday, Tweird.

Same Clothes, Different Outfit

One of the reasons I take photography classes is to force myself to step outside my comfort zones and look at things differently. It's easy, and tempting, to colour in the lines I already know - my dogs, and their canine buddies, do cute and/or funny things often enough to keep this blog full of material forever and a day. But coming up with new ways to take photos of the same old things is one way to make myself better at what I do. And when I'm better at what I do, you get more bang for your buck.

So, for example ... those of you who've been with 3WAAW for the long haul know that I like to take photos of wet dogs shaking. I especially like to take photos of wet Tweed shaking because he makes the funniest faces EVAH. But traditionally it has been difficult to take photos of Piper shaking because Piper only wants to shake while she is standing on the tips of my beach boots.

Most photos of Piper shaking turn out as a shower of drops with the following commentary from yours truly "Oh for f*ck sakes Piper, you got the lens all wet - oh HEY! Stop that! Christ! My pants are soaked-NOT-THE-CAMERA, NOTTHECAMERA!" etc.

To me, behind the camera, Piper Shaking often looks like this:

Tweed, OTOH, stands a reasonable distance from The Food Lady and tries to shake downwind. So today I snuck up on him a bunch of times and took photos of him shaking up close and personal. Turns out, he still makes The.Best.Faces.Ever no matter where you stand to take the photo.

Better:
ha ha!

During photo class, we often wander around the island and take photos of stuff. I somehow always end up getting photos of someone's dog (shocking, I know). Today's subject was the one-eyed wonder known as Patches:

Someone else shot this happy little guy, but not with a camera :( He's a good soul though, and doesn't hold it against anyone.

He's a rescue pup. And rescue pups are the bestest, as we all know (plug plug plug).

When you take a photo, you are framing a moment in time.

Border collies are smart, and do the framing themselves. If they had thumbs, they'd take their own damn photos, thanksverymuch.
(Also, they'd each like a Venti-no-foam-vanilla-soy latte while I'm in there. Kthnxbai)

And then there's Mad Teeth (tm). Piper still has them, but she likes to lend them to Tweed these days. Tweed likes to use them on Very Big Dogs.

Sometimes you just have to look into the light and shoot. Sometimes the results are magical.

And sometimes one of your dogs turns 8 years old and you take advantage of that occasion by buying that dog a cake and then taking mean, evil photos of No Touching and Cake Anticipation and the like. Sure, you've done it before but it's still pretty damn funny.

Check back later in the week for photos of such a criminal event.

Lastly, this past week we said goodbye to Buster, a good rescue dog who lived a long and happy life with his mum Wendy, and who will be greatly missed.

RIP Buster.

Is there nothing Woo won't eat?

... and other random photos from the last week.

Tweed and Woo scrapping over the Wootie Toy.

*KAPOW!*

Oh here's a good one - a sighting of the very rare West Coast Tree Monster

Like Big Foot, this is not often photographed:

Also, Jenn's second job is as a cleaning brush for the many Sigg (tm) water bottles of Kitsilano yuppies:

Here's something you don't see too often. Piper and Jenn sitting close together/ in the vicinity of one another. These two ladies Do Not Get Along. They are much too alike.

Okay, here's what Woo ate today. Don't hate me, or him.
Bunny? Chipmunk? I dunno. I tried to save it; tackled Woo and pried this out of his mouth, but it was too late and it gasped its last in my hands. Woo is VERY BAD and also, very hungry.

This doesn't look like the face of a stone cold killer, does it?
He's so not getting any dinner tonight. Unless dewormer counts as dinner.

When Donut heard the news, she was really upset. She really wanted to eat that thing.
Here's something we haven't seen in a while: MAD TEETH (tm)

And I include this photo because it makes Tweed appear handsome. The 20D loves Tweed.

At least someone does.

WANT

Want! Want want want!!!
Puppy photos by Jenn Norwood

Why?

This is why:

It's a tiny little Briggs!

CRAZY!!

Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!!!

Alas, no puppy for me. The timing is truly terrible, as we are fixin' to move some time in the next 6 months and a 4th dog makes that fairly prohibitive to most potential landlords (like 3 doesn't!). I love my building and I LOVE my deck, but I need more interior space. And a real bedroom would be nice. But Vancouver peeps - tell us about your dog-friendly buildings in the Lower Mainland and help us with our rental search, or help another Vancouver blog reader with their dog-friendly accommodation search!

I'll just go back to want want want want wanting!