Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Log of Confusion

Oh shit. Great. My ball is on the other side of this floating log. Now what?

Guess I'll have to climb over it, since it's obviously as long as the lake itself and there's no going around it.

Oh just FANTASTIC. How am I supposed to get the ball from way up here?

Screw it. I'm heading back to shore. This is hopeless.

Oh geez!

WHOA-OH!

And now you know why Tweed has never run away to join the circus.

Lack of balance.

Mr. Woo needed to show him how it's done.

First, hoist yourself up:

Then spend some time admiring your (portly) physique in the reflection of the water:

Next, make unnaturally lascivious up-close-and-personal gestures to appease the Log Gods:

(Seriously Wootie, stop it. You're making the viewers uncomfortable)

Tell the Food Lady to get bent, and not to rush you:

Then spring off the log with no preamble whatsoever, and ruin the shot:

Today I was teaching the dogs to swim out to the log and climb up on it for photo ops. Given Tweed's initial encounter with Lousy Lake Log, he was none too happy about this game.

It sucks out here.

How much do I loathe you? Let me contemplate the many ways ....

Oh good! We're done here? FINALLY! Peace out, bruthas.

Piper was not so cooperative.

I swam! I hopped up! I jumped off! How much of that did you catch?

Mr. Woo, otoh, was more than happy to show off.

Sproing!

Sproing!

Are you watching? I'm very sexy!

Sproing!

Look, I did everything you asked. I even retrieved Fifa!

I think I've done plenty. Now stop standing there like a lump on a log (har har) and GIVE ME A GODDAMN COOKIE!!!

I SAID GIVE ME A COOKIE, OR THE PRINCESS GETS IT!!
Okay that's it. You'll be sorry.

Look out Piper!

Agh!

He bodyslammed the ball right out of her mouth!

GREAT Woo. Thanks so much, asshole. Where's my ball now?

Meh, you're probably tired of seeing my silly dogs. I know why you stopped by; you just want to see some puppies!

Here's one:

It's somewhat insane.

Here's another one!

It can replicate itself!

...so it has someone to play with.

I know, I know - you thought I meant TESS' PUPS. Those photos are coming, I promise. I'm going out to see them again this week - they will be almost 3 weeks old. Their eyes are open and they are getting mobile now. Check back later this week for puppypics!

You should kick this for me. Remember what happened last time you ignored my request ...

Hey, Food Lady? I still can't find my ball ...

15 comments:

Anda said...

OMG, these were incredible, Food Lady! Loved Tweed loosing his balance on the log, Woo beeing..well.. himself, and poor Piper loosing her ball right out of her mouth.

I just love your photography and your hillarious commentaries! I know i don't comment much, but I do appreciate your work here ;)

SFKelly said...

Great photos! I never get sick of your dogs, not ever.

PoochesForPeace said...

Funny as always!! And those pictures in the water/on the log are AMAZING!!!!!

sweetpea_path said...

ZOMG, you got some f-u-n-n-y lines there, Food Lady, for all the goings-on...I chuckled me fool head off at your photo descriptions. PRECIOUS!!! I mean, priceless :>}

p.s. Wootie, do chill a bit, puhleeeez. you be intense, dude.

Jean said...

Great shots, great captions. Thanks for the laughs.

Angus said...

Your photos just get better - they capture the sense of fun and play so well.

julie said...

You put the first smile on my face for today. Thanks Foodlady!

Deb said...

Puppies are cute but Wootie beats them, hands down. Love his style!! Your dog training abilities are amazing! My dogs would/could never do those tricks!! I never get tired of seeing them!

riosmom said...

Just wonderful - that's all I can say. Thanks for starting my day with a smile.

Buzz's Food Lady said...

Awesome!
Did you sing the log song? I believe the words are "log log log log log log log!"

: )
Rossie

beardies3 said...

Great as always! I check everyday and am always thrilled when there is a new addition!
Thanks for the smiles.

Anonymous said...

Bless you... you make me laugh.

busygirl said...

those photos are incredible!

nickelsmum said...

Haha! I think Mellie's motto is "how much of that did you catch?"

Also love the triangle puppy.

Benson and Lily said...

What cool pictures and a grea story. Whew!! we were nervous you would float away on the log!
Benny & Lily