Monday, September 29, 2008

Long Dog

is long.


Today we had Breed ID Fail

Border collie?

Ohhhh ... not so much! Look at the size of him!

Meet Eli, a GIANT border collie X Bernese Mountain Dog

Lots of dog, lots of personality! But I think in this boston terrier, he met his match.

He doesn't look like much, but he took on The Eli.

And won.

And then this mop cleaned up the mess.

Mr. Woo is tired of my jokes, I think.

BUUUUT ... he's not tired of The Wootie Toy.

WHAT are you looking at?

It was such a beautiful day today! It's like summer all over again. Everyone was in a most excellent mood. Even Sporty made a friend, kind of. Okay, he didn't bite this dog in the face for running beside him. For Sport that = friend.

Look how handsome this old man dog is these days! Srsly.

Oh hai! I spent all afternoon dancing on your gumboots.



We are proud to announce that Tweed is at his most svelte EVAH ... a scant 35lbs. He' so skinny, that his collar fell off somewhere on the weekend and we can't find it :( I just bought the darned thing too, it was all pretty and purple with sparkly polka dots. If you find it at Kits Beach, please let us know.


Synchro shaking with Eli.

Shakin', Boston style.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Rant and an RIP

#1. The Rant

About 3 years ago or so, my dog Briggs was badly bitten by this evil dog in my neighborhood named Banner. Banner is a border collie X cattle dog, and a river runs through it - a big river of NASTY!

Now, Briggsie was no saint. He had some bad attitude on him too in his day, but Briggs never said a mean word to Banner. One day, while we were at the park, and Briggs was greeting our friend Fred, NastyBanner ran up behind Briggs unannounced, and bit him HARD in the abdomen - no preamble, no provocation ... Briggs never ever saw him coming. He bit my boy so badly, we ended up taking a trip to the Emergency Vet to have the would cleaned and debrided - it was too big to sew up.

This is what Banner did to Briggs (warning, graphic photo below):

In case you're wondering, that's muscle you see inside that wound. It was so deep I could have lost Mr. Woo in there.

So despite several witnesses, Banner's owner staunchly denied that her dog did anything. Adamantly refused to admit culpability, never mind kick in for the five big bills the ER trip cost me. I was steamed, readers. STEAMED.

Over the past few years, Banner's owner has continued to live the life of a stupid ostrich, failing to admit that her dog is AGGRESSIVE. Banner has continued to try to attack my dogs on various occasions, which is where my Chuck-It has come in handy more than once. Another friend of mine has had to throw a bicycle at Banner to prevent on attack on his dog, and until he moved out of the neighborhood, took to carrying a baseball bat on walks.

Do you have THAT owner in your hood? The one who is a complete moron? If not, let me know, as I will happily send you ours :(

Anyway, the other morning I was at the park with my dogs playing ball, and guess who we see? Now, Banner and his Moron are quite a distance away ... across half a field, a two lane road, a boulevard, a parking lot and another part of a field. But not far enough apparently, because Banner sees us and goes APESHIT. He starts barking his fool head off, and runs across the field, across the parking lot, across the boulevard, ACROSS THE ROAD and comes racing up the field after my dogs. All of whom run like their asses are on fire, because they are terrified of this monsterdog. Fortunately, they all run straight to me, and I'm weilding the Chuck It. Having experienced my Chuck It in the past, Banner puts on the brakes.

And what's moron doing? "Banner! Banner! Banner! Don't you dare touch my dog! Banner! Banner!" etc. Ineffectual dope.

Can anyone explain to me WHY this woman does not leash her damn dog? Not only is he meaner than a sack full of weasels, he's also a Hit By Car victim waiting to happen. I mean, maybe she really doesn't give a shit if he tears my dogs to shreds, but doesn't she give a poop about her own dog?? ARGH!!

Ahhhh. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

#2: The RIP

Today we lost a member of our extended family. Toilet Kitty's long time lady love, Missus Peel, lost her short battle with cancer at the tender age of 13 years. Missus Peel was my cat for many years, from the time she was a kitten, but took a real shine to my ex partner Jason when we moved in together, so when he and I parted ways, Missus Peel opted to live with him.

Because Jason and I remain fast friends, I have had the pleasure of Missus Peel's company fairly regularly for the last few years, visiting her often. And today Jason and I took Missus Peel to the vet and said our goodbyes, and held her while she passed.

There's lots to miss about The Peelinator. The way she fetched balls of paper, pretending to be totally disinterested in the doggish game of ball, dropping it casually on your foot as she strolled past, and the hiding around the corner of the couch until you threw it again. The way she always stood on your chest while you were watching a movie and blocking your view. The melodious sound of her Balinese meooooowwwws. The strategically urped up piles of kitty vomit she left where someone was sure to tread. How she rolled around on the back of the sofa and fell off.

Missus Peel was a great cat, and her passing marks the end of an era in The Trio Of Great Pets I Have Known. Right now Missus Peel is sitting in a heavenly kitchen cupboard smacking Toilet Kitty with her paw while he tries to cuddle up to her, and Briggs is staring intently at them both.

RIP Missus Peel. And Jason, thanks for loving her for so many years.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I Searched For Myself

and I found myself here! - Yahoo India! In an article called Time For Some Dogumentaries I was rather surprised to see us mentioned as a dog blog of note.


Friday, September 19, 2008

Conversations with the dogs

Tweed, what's the matter?

"I see dead people."

No you don't. Don't be ridiculous.

"Yes I do. They're all around me."

*looks around*

Do you mean Piper? She's not dead. She's just a dork.

"Argh! They're driving me crazy!"

*looks around again*

Do you mean Sport? He's not dead, he just sometimes look that way cuz he's old.

Tweed, I don't see any dead people anywhere. Show me the dead people.

"It's okay, they're gone. I eated them. Can you throw the ball now plz?"


Mr. Woo, the toy will give you indigestion. Eat something else.



Alright Wootie, that's enough, go find someone to play with.

"Okay. Who?"

I dunno. How about Tweed?

"NOT. Woo is teh suck and I hate him. He's this much boring."

Alrighty. How about you Piper? Want to play with Mr. Woo?

"Negatory. I'm suffering from extra large tongue syndrome at the moment."

*sigh* Fine. How about Sport then? Sporty?

"No. No no no no no no no. No way. I'd rather drown myself."

Okay FINE. Then how about you play with this guy, Woo?


"Now that you've married Woo off, do you think you could maybe throw the ball?"





Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Dog Days Of Summer

Wikipedia describes the Dog Days Of Summer as the hottest, mostly sultry days of summer. It goes on to say that in the Northern Hemisphere, this occurs between July and early September. We're in mid to end September now, and while we aren't having the hottest, or most sultry days, these bright and warm almost-Fall days are what I think of as the Dog Days. The sun is still here, but we know it won't be for long - too soon, the rains will come and we won't see nice weather again until Spring next year. So we make a point of hiking and beaching and getting out as much as we can before we no longer have the chance.

The weather channel keeps predicting a dire change to cold and rain in the next 48 hours. Maybe the dogs know it's coming, because today at the beach they gave us a little taste of everything, sort of a montage of summer '08.

We had, of course, Big Air ... or sideways air anyway.

(Big Air was so big he almost bounced out of the frame)


We had some Frisbee Fail:

and even Frisbee Hat Fail:

Mr. Woo and Piper even re-enacted the Classic Mad Teeth (tm) series.

They haven't done this for a while!

Fifa Mouth made an appearance:

So did Keener Face.

And the weird shaking faces dog came out to play

And Sport was Sport.

Speaking of Sport; you all know he is Tweed's little protege ... he is now totally on-board with the Kill The Food Lady program.

First, I lost him at the beach. Sort of. There are three paths through the shrubbery to get to the beach from the grass (frisbee) area. Our usual routine is to play on the grass for a bit, then the dogs go tearing down one of the paths to the beach and wait for the slowpoke Food Lady to show, then we play swimming games, then back to the grass before heading to the parking lot. Sport goes where everyone else goes, and this time they took path #2. I strolled at my usual dim witted two legged human pace down path #1.

As I made my way down path #1, the dogs came racing back up path #2, made a sharp right and roared past me down path #1. Except Sport. He's slower - especially uphill - and he got left alone at the top of path #2. Couldn't see any of us, since we were now halfway down path #1, and I guess he figured we had gone back to the car. So that's where he went.

*Public Service Announcement* - It's hard to run in rubber gumboots.

So there's me, screaming "SPORT SPORT" because I can see him making his way to the van, but he's kinda deaf and he doesn't hear me. And he is *not* street smart, so I know I need to get him before he gets to the busy parking lot, but it's a really long way and for mystery reasons, I'm dressed like a frickin' whaler.

Anyway, I finally caught him just as he was stepping off the curb into the parking lot, and nearly had a heart attack in the process. I need to train one of the other dogs to Go Get Sport!!

Funny Tweed Photo Interlude

After our beach session, we went home, and Sport tried to kill me a second time.

As I waited for Mr. Bones to make his painfully slow way up the back stairs of my building, first he stumbled, then his foot disappeared, and then ALL of Sport disappeared!

Where Sport vanished:

He slipped through the railing just as I lunged for him (and missed) and plummeted the 10 foot drop to the cement floor below. I.Thought.I.Was.Going.To.DIE. I went flying down the stairs where he was in a heap on the floor, and gathered him up in my arms. He looked a little surprised, but no worse for wear.

I cannot say the same for me. I'm pretty sure my heart actually stopped beating for a minute there. I mean, it's not like he has any body fat to prevent all his old bone from shattering into a million pieces! But he didn't seem to be hurt at all, and indeed, this morning was chasing Tweed at the park like nothing had happened. At least I think that's what happened this morning. I was awake pretty constantly from the NIGHTMARES his fall gave me, and was pretty tired for morning walkies.


On the weekend, the organization I work for threw a party for our volunteers at Trout Lake Dog Park. Miss Piper was her super star self, playing soccer with the kids for hours, and lots of other dogs from our organization came by. My favourite photo from the event has to be Sarah the Catahoula, who either really wanted a piece of cake, or was feeling a little anxious:
ha ha!

Sarah's mum takes Sarah to work with her several days a week and cycles from West Vancouver to downtown Vancouver (trust me, it's far ... and it's full of hills) with Sarah in a trailer. Sarah's mum Melissa is about 2 feet tall and 12 lbs, the cutest pixie lady ever, and has like 40 kids. I have no idea how she does it. Suddenly running in gumboots doesn't seem like such a big achievement anymore!

Speaking of cycling - blog readers who cycle, tell me about your wet weather / snow gear. What do you wear? I am totally unprepared as most of last winter I (*hangs head*) drove to work.

Also, I have made the painful decision to sell my Bianchi Cyclocross bike as it's just that much too big for me. I should never have bought it - it would appreciate a rider in the 5'7"-5'9" range and is great for commuting. It's going to waste here at casa de Food Lady. Anyone interested?